The Lady of Spain's Twilight Drabbles
by LadyofSpain
Summary: A collection of vignettes that are funny, angst filled, sad, mad or silly. They are too short to fill a story, but bursting to break out of my brain and onto the ey are random and not connected in any way.
1. Chapter 1

Presenting: The Lady of Spain's Twilight Drabbles

**By (who else?) Lady of Spain**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.**

The scibblings and dabblings from the insanely fertile mind of the exquisitely crazy Lady of Spain. Sadness, bliss, anger, stupidity, laughter, madness—it's all right here—random thoughts in no way connected , or coherent in any way shape or form. If at one point in your reading, you think, "This makes no sense." Then good!

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><p>Drabble # 1: <strong>Lip Service<strong>

The three pack buddies were having a philosophical discussion in the _Taj Mahal_—aka—Jacob Black's garage. Jacob had his grease-smudged hands under the Rabbit's hood as usual. He had just disconnected the cable from the negative terminal of the battery. He was getting ready to remove a worn alternator belt.

The question raised by Jacob was: "Why do you suppose people kiss?"

Without lifting his head, he reached out his right hand. "Hey, Embry, could you hand me the socket wrench that's over there?"

Embry slid the wrench into his outstretched hand.

Quil was standing on the other side of the Rabbit, hunched over the engine like a mirror image of Jacob. "Isn't it obvious?" he snickered.

"No, it's not!" Jacob insisted. "I really want to know why? For instance, what is it about kissing that—that's all you can think about?"

"Among other things," Quil added, suggestively.

"You know what I mean!

"This one's too small; can you get me the wrench with the green handle, Embry? It's in the toolbox under the drill bits." He exchanged socket wrenches with his friend. "Yeah, I think this'll do it." He gave a satisfied grunt as the center bolt of the tensioner pulley slackened the pull on the belt for removal.

Jacob lifted his head slightly and craning his neck, peered over at his pack mate with a questioning frown on his face. "What do you say, Embry?"

He always looked to Embry for the important matters. Embry prided himself for thinking with the head affixed to his _shoulders_.

"Oh, no ... here it comes," Quil complained. The _Call _discourse on the physiology of kissing. Ugh!"

"You want to hear this or not?" his quiet friend responded.

"Not!"

Jacob glanced at his engine buddy. "Shut up, Quil. I wanna hear what he has to say. Let's have it Embry!

"Damn, what is it with this alternator belt? It won't budge."

"Wait a minute, Jake, there's a strand of it is still coiled around this other pulley ... can you see it ...? It's way under there to your right."

"Okay, I got it ... Go on, Embry. Inquiring minds want to know."

"Well, the surface of your lips have hundreds of tiny nerve endings that are connected to the pleasure centers of the brain. That's lots more than in your finger tips."

"Hmmn ... interesting."

"To who?" Quil taunted.

"Here, Quil, make yourself useful. Put this belt into that box on the tool shelf. I'm gonna take it back to Fork's Motor Parts. I just replaced it three months ago; it shouldn't have worn out that fast. Must've been defective."

"Keep going, Embry, I'm listening."

"Did you know that your mouth is part of your mucosal system—it's highly sensitive. If you feel inside of your mouth, you'll notice that it's smooth and wet—not like the skin on the outside of your body. It's in the same system as your reproductive organs.

"Babies especially explore the world with their mouth. Everything—and I mean everything—goes in their mouth."

Quil wiggled his eyebrows and gestured to his developed pecs. "Yeah, those lucky little suckers."

"Can you get your mind out of the gutter for once, Quil. Jeez, there is more to the world than T&A."

Smirking at him, mockingly, Quil retorted, "Like what? Name one thing."

"Cars, motorbikes, art, laughter, music, football, dancing, horseback riding, pizza."

His buddy put up his index finger. "I said, _one_, Jake."

Jacob placed the new belt on the pulleys and turned the bolt the opposite direction. He put down the socket wrench, replaced the battery cable and wiped his hands off on a nearby rag.

The door to the driver's seat was open, so Jacob plunked down on it with his feet stretched out in front of him, facing out into the garage.

Embry was seated on a crate; Jacob leaned toward him and asked, "Anything else I need to know about kissing but was afraid to ask?"

"Yeah, so open mouth kissing ..."

This time Quil pulled up another crate right beside his buddy. Now _this_ topic interested him. His head tilted forward, his ears at attention.

"Now here's the thing. When a guy gives a girl an open mouthed kiss, he is actually transferring the testosterone in his saliva to her, which in effect gets her aroused and ready for _action_."

"Quil's eyes got big as he gasped, "Really?"

"Yes, really. So you see guys, a kiss actually does have a purpose. It ensures the propagation of the species."

"But that still doesn't answer my question," Jacob asserted. "Why do people kiss?"

"Because it makes you feel sooo good!" Embry and Quil yelled simultaneously, as they each threw a dirty rag in Jacob's direction.

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><p>AN: Now go out and kiss someone, preferably someone you know. A random kiss might get you slapped instead—or maybe not!


	2. Chapter 2

**Drabble # 2: The French Connection**

"For Pete's sake! Hold still, Bella!"

"What are you trying to do, Jake?"

"I'm trying to kiss you ... if you'd just hold still for a freakin' minute. Can you open your mouth for me, at least?"

Jacob covered her lips with his own once again.

"Holy cow!" she sputtered as she pulled away from him. "Your tongue was in MY MOUTH!"

"I know!" Jake affirmed her comment.

"Why was your tongue in my mouth?" She looked at him, her chocolate brown eyes boring into his.

"Quil and I were talking about it, and I thought I would give it a try. Hey, don't give me that look! It's called French Kissing. Honey, do you think you could cooperate with me here?"

"But you had your tongue in my mouth. I already have a tongue of my own. I don't need another one."

"Trust me, okay? Now hold still and open your mouth."

Bella let out a long sigh.

"Jeez, Bells, you are so stubborn. Don't push me away, or it's not gonna work."

She was not convinced yet. "Why are you doing this? Just tell me why."

"I want you to feel as good as I do. You'll like it, I promise"

"How do you know that?"

"I have good dreams, all right? Now let's have another go ..."

Jacob pulled her closer and entwined his fingers in her long mahogany hair. He kissed her gently as she opened her mouth a little. Bella instinctively cupped the back of his head. He smoothed his tongue along her bottom lip—that lip that drove him crazy. She opened her mouth wider, and Jacob slowly slipped his tongue between her parted lips. His tongue danced playfully with hers.

"Mmn ..." she moaned, as the dancing continued. And then it became louder ...

"Mmn ..."

He pulled away for a minute. Her warm brown eyes nearly melted him on the spot. "See ... I told you so. C'est tres´ bien. Bien mieux, n'est-ce pas? Ce n'est pas assez. Encore beaucoup!"

Bella eagerly joined him again. He murmured, "Prenez votre temps."

When they finally came up for air, Bella asked, "Why do they call this French Kissing?"

"I guess because at first it seems like a foreign tongue. But when you get used to it—Ooh, la, la! Trop chaud, mon petit!"

"Gosh, Jake, I didn't know you spoke French."

"Oui! But only with my tongue," he smirked.

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><p>AN: I had a hard time deciding on a title—French Kiss, Tongue in Check, Foreign Object, Speaking in Tongues, En Garde! Decisions, decisions.

Translations:

"C'est tres´ bien. Bien mieux, n'est-ce pas?Ce n'est pas assez. Encore beaucoup! (It's very good. Much better, isn't it? It's not enough. Some more, lots more!")

"Prenez votre temps." (Take your time)

"Trop chaud, mon petit!" (Too hot, my little one)


	3. Chapter 3

Drabble# 3: Tummy Troubles  
>Or<br>What goes Down Must Come Up

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

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><p>Emmett was engrossed in digging a small hole in the back yard. Rosalie was out shopping with Alice, so now was as good a time as any. Edward ghosted up behind him—man he was fast ... and sneaky.<p>

"Whatever are you doing, Emmett?" This was not the usual occupation of a fellow vampire.

"Shh!" Emmett looked around, "Are the girls still out shopping?"

"All but Bella and Esme, why?" This was certainly a peculiar conversation. Edward's curiosity was piqued.

"This is what I'm doing, Bro." Emmett held up a box containing some expensive brand of perfume.

"You're putting on Rosalie's perfume?" Edward was getting concerned, and coincidentally, confused.

"No—get real, Edward. I'm burying the damn stuff. Rosalie insists on wearing it, and it makes me want to hurl. It's this sickening vanilla spice somethin' or other gaggy scent. She walks around here smelling like there's a cake baking in the oven. It's just so gross!"

"I know what you mean, Emmett. I'm going to admit that I probably should _change_ Bella very soon. She's getting increasingly upset that I don't want to sit down and eat with her. I did it once just to please her, but I had to run to the bathroom to regurgitate it as soon as I ingested the culinary exudate. Bella loves to cook, but I cannot tolerate eating it. The situation is driving a wedge between us. I love her so, and I don't want this to stand in the way of our happiness.

Edward turned to walk back into the house as Emmett finished burying the bottle of perfume.

The next afternoon, Bella was busy making Beef Stroganoff. Apparently it was a favorite of Charlie's. Edward cringed. Please, not Stroganoff!

Bella set the table for two. "Edward, if you love me, you'll do this little thing for me. I rarely ask a favor of you. Please Edward, please . . . just one plateful."

"All right, love. You know I can't deny you anything."

That was too easy. Bella was beginning to get suspicious. "You have to promise not to use the bathroom afterwards. One of the joys of my life is my cooking. I feel so hurt when you vomit my meal into the toilet after I took the pains to prepare it."

Edward forced a smile. He wished that Jacob Black had been invited to dinner, then there'd be nothing left in the pot and he could forestall the inevitable.

He sat there politely while his beloved wife ladled the lumpy conglomeration onto his plate. Next came the string beans and the cold borscht. That was the worst—the borscht.

He held back gag after gag as he manfully swallowed the mass of glutinous glop that was trickling down his throat.

Bella sat there encouraging him with a sweet smile on her face, until his last bite disappeared.

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><p>Edward sat later at his piano playing a medley of tunes. Emmett snickered in the corner listening to Edward's stomach protesting the abuse that had been inflicted upon it. The rumblings it made could easily have been a percussion accompaniment to his music. They were certainly loud enough.<p>

Bella came downstairs and announced that she was retiring to bed.

Responding to her statement, Edward commented, "I'll be there soon, love. I need to finish composing this melody first."

Soon the sound of Bella's slow steady breathing wafted down to Edward's ears; a signal that she had fallen asleep.

Suddenly, Edward stood up and raced out to the backyard. Emmett met him just as he finished covering up a freshly dug hole in the ground.

Emmett winked at Edward. "Hey, bro—I won't tell if you won't."


	4. Chapter 4

Drabble# 4: Status Quo  
>Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.<p>

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><p>Jacob came whistling into the Clearwaters' house. He was always in a good mood; but these days his mood was even lighter. There were only five more weeks till he and Bella walked down the aisle. He settled on the couch waiting for his sweetie; his long legs stretched out in front of him.<p>

Bella and Leah arrived a few minutes later laden with school books. Leah went straight to her bedroom.

Jacob hopped up from the couch and gave Bella a hello kiss that could melt lead. Breaking the kiss, he launched into a veritable inquisition. "So, how was your day today? Did you get a good grade on that test you were worried about? What did Mr. Eddington say about getting into his advanced English Comp. class? Did you find that book you lost?"

"Holy cow—hold on—at least, let me put my books down."

Bella placed her tote on a coffee table and walked with Jacob into the kitchen to get a drink. As she drank her glass of water, the tote tipped over, spilling its contents.

"Crap! There go all my papers."

"I'll get it," Jacob replied.

Bella's' breath hitched in anxiety. "No, no, that's okay. I'll get it. I don't want you getting my papers all out of order."

Too late—he was faster than she was. He was already on his knees picking up the books and loose papers. Among the assignments was a certificate that caught his eye. "The Body Beautiful", it read.

In a panic, she reached for it. "Jake, no—give that to me!"

She tried to snatch it away from his grasp, but she was no match for his quick reflexes. He skimmed the card rapidly. He suddenly grabbed Bella by the arm and walked her out to the back porch—his airy mood had all but vanished.

"What's this?" he inquired. His voice sounded irritated. He was holding up the card in front of her face. "You made an appointment to have your lip plumped?"

"You weren't supposed to see that. It's a present from Alice—a wedding present. I wanted to surprise you."

"Yeah, well—I'm surprised all right! What are you thinking? This will be permanent. You can't go changing it back, it doesn't work that way. If you want plumped lips, I'll kiss you till your mouth is so swollen, Angelina Jolie will pale in comparison."

"But, Jake, I've always hated the way my top lip looks. It's so small. It looks deformed. I want my two lips to match. I want to look perfect for our wedding."

"Jeez, did you ever think to ask _my_ opinion? I love your mouth the way it is. That's what makes you unique. I don't want you to change a thing for me.

"Listen to me, my face isn't perfect either. My nose is too big and my eyes are deep set. Would you want me to get some surgeon to correct that?"

"No—I love the way you look."

"I rest my case."

He hesitated, letting a sigh escape. "Look, all I'm saying is, if you want to change something, dye your hair or get new makeup—I don't care. But please, don't change your appearance permanently. You won't look like my Bella anymore.

"I love you, Bells, deformed lips and all. Now come closer and let me kiss those lips of yours again."

That Saturday, Bella ambled through his front door. Her hair was cropped and spiked, and colored red with a purple stripe running along the side.

Jacob stood there with his mouth hanging open. "I love those lips," Bella said right before she kissed him. Then she stepped back, pulled off the wig, and shook out her long mahogany waves.

Jacob let out a sigh of relief. Well, wouldn't you?


	5. Chapter 5

Drabble #5: **The Phone Call**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight**

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><p>Bella looked at her clock. It was 3:13 for Pete's sake! Who would be calling at this hour—one guess, and you'd be right. She picked up the cell, a frown creasing her brow. She was not in the best of moods at 3:13 A.M.<p>

"H, Bells, you awake?" He winced as the stupid comment slipped from his mouth. He scratched his head in embarrassment. Duh— why did he say that? Oh yeah, because he's an idiot, that's why.

"If I'm not, then you must be dreaming." Was he serious? Why would she be awake—didn't he own a clock?

"Where are you right now?" Another no-brainer, but apparently, he had no brain—at least not when Bella Swan was concerned.

"I'm in bed, where else would I be?" Could this conversation be any more ridiculous—obviously _not_.

"Is there a point to this conversation, Jake, because I would really like to get back to sleep." He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was getting _slight-ly_ irritated with him. He'd better lay on the charm.

It was just that he was always so distracted with her on his mind. "I can't sleep, Bells. I just had to hear your voice."

Her eyes instinctively rolled. "Let me get this straight—you can't sleep, so misery loves company—is that it?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it misery. I can't stop thinking about you. You're dancing around in my brain, and you won't leave me alone. You know I'm madly in love with you, right?" Ooh, that was smooth. Sometimes he amazed himself.

"At 3:13 A.M., I guess anything's possible."

"You don't believe me? Ouch—that stings a bit. It's true. I'm deeply, madly, crazy in love with you." If she didn't already know that, then there was something seriously wrong with that head of hers.

"Well, I believe the crazy part all right. You _are_ crazy, Jake."

"Don't you love me anymore? I'm not sensing any tender feelings there, honey." He knew she was tired, but he wanted to hear those three little words from own sweet lips before he hung up.

"Yes, you know I love you. I just want to go back to SLEEP! I'm hanging up now, okay?"

Jacob's voice suddenly took on a note of excitement. "No wait—I gotta know. What are you wearing?"

"None of your beeswax." The nerve of this guy!

"Oh, c'mon, honey, what's it gonna hurt? Pleeaaase—tell me what you're wearing."

Bells inhaled, and let the air out slowly. "This is only for you. I've got on a light blue tank top with a tiny bow in the front and matching tap pants."

Switching the cell to her other ear, she asked, "What have _you_ got on?"

"You know ... I'm _reeeaal-ly_ glad you asked that question." Was it possible to hear a _smirk_ over the phone? "Not a stitch—nada—my birthday suit—naked as a newborn babe." Well, she wanted to know, didn't she? He didn't want to lie about it.

Bella had to smile. Nothing he could say would shock her—embarrass her, yeah. But she was on the phone, and even if she blushed, he couldn't see it, so there! Boy, he was such a character that's one of the reasons she loved him so much—and yes—even at 3:13 in the morning. "Do you always wear your birthday suit to bed?" She yawned loud enough for him to hear.

"A guy's gotta be ready when opportunity knocks?" Ha—what can she say to that little remark?

"And are you expecting opportunity to knock anytime soon?"

"One can only hope ... Wait—are you offering?" His face lit up with anticipation.

"In your dreams, Jake—only in your dreams. Now hang up the phone and go to sleep! Goodnight, Jake."

"Jeez, that's easy for you to say. You're not the one lying here waiting for opportunity to knock. Night, Bells. Sigh ..."


	6. Chapter 6

Drabble #6: Hook, Line and Stinker  
>(An outtake from Gone Fishin')<p>

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

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><p>Bella was a nervous wreck. She was chewing on her bottom lip again. Gosh darn it, why couldn't she break that awful habit? No matter, she needed to talk with Edward and she knew it wouldn't go well.<p>

The familiar silver Volvo pulled up to the house. Bella opened the door before Edward even knocked, and—to his surprise—dragged him inside.

His golden eyes shone with pleasure at her enthusiastic greeting, but as he read the expression on her face, his joy faded in a flash. "What is it, love?" A crease wrinkling his forehead marred his perfect features while he awaited her response.

They sat down at the kitchen table—that was not a good sign. "Can I talk to you for a minute? I need to discuss my plans for this Wednesday."

"And what plans would those be?" He always gave her his utmost attention, and this time was no different. Her rapid heart beat was not very reassuring though, and he knew it wasn't because of his close proximity. What was the terrible news that she had to tell him?

"Jacob wants to take me out fishing that afternoon—you know—sort of a last goodbye before I'm yours forever."

He had to pretend it didn't bother him, but the green monster was screaming inside of him attempting to surface. Edward had to come up with a good excuse to dissuade her from going. "I don't really think that's very safe, Bella."

"What could possibly happen to me?" she retorted. They were going fishing for crying out loud, not big game hunting

Edward's face became animated as he spouted off all the catastrophes that could befall her. "You could lose an oar, get swept out to sea, struck by lightening, fall overboard, get hit on the head with the other oar, get eaten by a shar—"

Could his list possibly get any longer? Bella's jitters were quickly being replaced by her bad temper. "How about none of the above," she interjected with a scowl.

Gazing at her Adonis, she noted that he had the bridge of his nose pinched between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. Deep down inside, her female intuition spoke to her subconscious. The reason behind his reluctance to let her go cavorting on a boat with Jacob was a simple one; it was his age-old fear of losing her. He didn't trust Bella's heart where Jacob Black was concerned. Jacob was her best friend, but underneath it all, she had feelings for him—strong feelings—feelings that could easily be swayed in his favor.

"What are you really afraid of, Edward—that I'll get swept away by his irresistible charms? That I'll jump his bones? I love you, Edward. For Pete's sake, we're getting married in less than five weeks. We're just going fishing. Don't you trust me?"

"It's him I don't trust—the dirty dog!"

"That's really mean of you. Don't call him that—you know I hate it when you call him names." Her ire was up now.

"Bella—he always refers to me as the leech or the filthy bloodsucker. How do you explain your tolerance of _his_ name calling?"

"I don't like it when he talks like that either. He _is_ making an effort to clean up his vocabulary though. But since you're so much older than he is, you should know better." That told him.

Edward's face reflected grim determination. Standing up, he walked toward her. He placed both of his hands on Bella's shoulders, looked her straight in the eye, and reiterated," I still have serious reservations about this _fishy_ trip of his. How do I know that he'll bring you back?"

"Oh god, Edward, you're making such a big deal out of this. You always overreact. I shouldn't have told you about our plans."

Edward's mouth dropped open. "You would have gone without the courtesy of telling me?"

Was he serious—didn't he know her better than that? "No, I would never do that to you, but I have to go, whether you approve of it or not. This is the last time we can be together. I'll be too busy to see him in the next few weeks."

Bella pulled Edward's hands down off her shoulders. As he crouched down to her eyelevel, she placed them in her lap. "I owe it to him, Edward. He was there to put me back together when I was nothing but a bunch of broken pieces. Can you understand that?"

Edward cringed. The truth of her words plunged through his heart like a dagger. If only he hadn't left—this bond between Bella and Jacob would never have been forged. Leaving was the biggest mistake he had ever made, and could presumably bring about an eternity of his own unhappiness.

Bella was one stubborn girl. He knew that there was no dissuading her when her mind was made up. Edward didn't like the idea—at all—but he had to give her the benefit of the doubt. Restraining her would only send her running into that mutt's arms.

Since his tactics weren't being met with success, he tried a different approach. "Okay, I trust you, love. Just promise me that you'll bring yourself home in one piece. I'm very partial to every little bit of you." He put some icing on that comment by giving her a seductive wink.

"I'll do better than that—I'll bring home the catch of the day." Little did she know. ..."

He was loathe to admit it, but that was exactly what he was afraid of—that she would reel in a better catch. With herself as bait, she could hook onto a whopper—a whopper with russet skin, dark hair, and eyes the color of ebony.

It was a good thing he didn't need to breathe because he would be holding his breath until her return. Poor Edward, he was unaware that he'd be holding it for three long days. And when he could finally exhale, it would be a long inconsolable sigh.


	7. Chapter 7

Drabble#7: A Kiss and a Prayer

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

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><p>That had to be the stupidest thing she had ever done, besides wasting her love on that indifferent, unfeeling vampire. What was she thinking? Jacob was right; it was like a hurricane out there. If he hadn't been diligent, if he hadn't come back in time, she would be at the bottom of the ocean now—dead. And for what? To hear that honey-filled voice? The voice that was laced with lies?<p>

She was in the cab of her truck. Jacob was driving her home and keeping her warm, and protecting her from herself. He was a saint putting up with her reckless shenanigans. Instead, he should have had her over his knee giving her the spanking she deserved.

He pulled the Chevy up to the curb. His quiet voice was talking to her but of course she wasn't listening—not really. She finally glanced up and there was that _look_ in his eyes. She had a hard time not feeling guilty whenever he gave her that _look._

Jacob stopped speaking. Oh god, that was worse. Not speaking and that _look_ added up to pushing the boundaries again. Sure enough, he was leaning toward her. Maybe she could nonchalantly move back pretending that she was trying to get out of the cab. So she went for it, only to see the pain of rejection reflected on his face. Why couldn't she love what was good for her? It would make Charlie happy, Billy too—and Jacob? He'd be ecstatic. But what about her? He was her best friend; would that be enough to make _her_ happy? That was the big unanswered question.

Jacob _was_ feeling rejected—rejected by the only woman he ever wanted. It was so hard to love her. She was always out to destroy herself. Didn't she realize how beautiful and smart she was—well, up until she threw herself off the freakin' cliff that is. He knew he shouldn't have done it, but he had to risk it even if it meant being hurt again. It was the only way. Testing the water; that's what it was, and the chilly reception he got was breaking his heart. He wanted to kiss her so badly. He wanted her to say those five little words—yeah, five. She'd already said that she loved him, but he needed to hear, "I'm in love with you." You could love your dad, or your dog, or the flowers in the garden. The difference was, "I'm in love with you," meant so much more. He was beginning to think that he might never be able to hear those words from her and it was killing him.

So with a heavy heart, he climbed down from the truck and trotted to the other side to help her down also. What was she thinking right now? Did his prior actions halt the progress he had made with her? She didn't pull away when he held her hand; that was a good sign. Maybe she didn't realize what his intentions had been. Bella was always a little _out of it._

They walked into her home silently. Jeez, all this quiet was starting to get on his nerves. His palms were sweaty as it was.

He couldn't stand it anymore. The silence was deafening. He had to say something—anything. "You're so quiet. You all right?"

"I'm fine." She wasn't fine, not at all, but that was her stock answer. Bella Swan was always fine, no matter what. "You want something to drink?"

Jacob nodded his head. "Sure, sure." Anything to stay here a little longer with the girl of his dreams.

She backed up a step so that she was leaning up against the kitchen counter top, within reach of the refrigerator handle. The light was coming in from the window, casting a glow on her face. She looked so beautiful, that Jacob couldn't help himself. He closed the gap between them.

The unmistakable glint of love shone in his eyes. Bella knew that if she rejected him now, he would be devastated.

She decided then and there that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to repay him with one little kiss. He saved her life today for crying out loud. She owed it to him.

Bella gazed into his hopeful eyes and parted her lips waiting for his next move.

Hesitantly, Jacob ran his hand through her hair. She wasn't stopping him. He moved his other hand to wrap around her shoulder. She wasn't stopping him. He pulled her head closer to his. His heart was pounding away in his chest. She still wasn't stopping him. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Gently, he pressed his lips to hers and the sensation of her lips moving with his sent his heart soaring. He held her a bit more tightly, relishing the feel of her small, soft frame against his. He deepened the kiss, hoping against hope that she was feeling what his heart was saying to her. _Please_, _Bella_, _please_, he prayed silently. _I need you to love me_.

Jacob's kiss was warm and soft, and sweet and passionate. Truth be told, he stirred something inside of her, and she responded willingly. She felt herself falling—_please Jacob, please_, she prayed. _I know I need to love you. Be patient with me, until I can say_ _the words_, "I'm in love with you."

After breaking the kiss, they looked at each other with different eyes. They knew that things would never be the same between them. And Jacob would wait patiently for the day that those five little words would come from Bella's sweet lips—the words that would change their lives forever.


	8. Chapter 8

Drabble#8: Eye of the Beholder

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

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><p>It was just an ordinary Saturday and Jacob was walking past the bedroom after putting Carlie and Liam down for their naps. He stopped as he looked into the room and did a double-take. Bella was posing in front of the full length mirror that was hanging on the closet door. She was turning this way and that, scrutinizing herself.<p>

He knew he would probably regret it, but he had to ask, "What are you doing?"

Bella startled at being caught in the act. She seemed rather sheepish as she answered, "I was . . . I . . . I don't feel like I'm very attractive anymore. There, are you satisfied? I said it."

"What? Are you kidding me?" He could barely keep his hands off of her, and she didn't feel attractive? What put that silly notion in her head?

"Do you still find me attractive after having two kids?"

"Hell, yeah—what a stupid question." He walked up behind her, nuzzling the side of her neck, and wrapping his muscular arms around her waist. "Hey, the kids are asleep—you wanna—"

She cut him off with, "I'm not in the mood."

"Since when? You're always in the mood. That's one of the reasons why I love ya, honey."

Bella sighed loudly. "You don't think I've put on too much weight—I mean—I used to be so slim and trim. And now, my shirts are getting tight on me."

Uh-oh, this demanded his best diplomacy. "You've filled out some, yeah, but that's a good thing, isn't it?"

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What does that mean?"

He was getting into tricky territory now. "Well, your boobs have gotten bigger, so of course your shirts are fitting snug." He hoped that came out right. He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Do you have to use that word—you know I hate that word."

"What do you want me to say, 'Your mammary glands have gotten bigger'? That sounds so stupid. Anyway, honey, I kinda like having a little bit bigger handful."

"Okay, forget I said anything. But my pants don't fit right either. There's more junk in my trunk, too."

"So, maybe I like a little junk in your trunk." He turned Bella around, and placing his hands on either side of her face, looked straight into her eyes." What's this all about, Bells?"

With tears in her eyes, Bella confessed. "You're still all buff and beautiful and I'm heading for the scrap heap."

"Well, what do you want me to do—start drinking beer and stuffing myself with donuts? Would it make you happy if I had a big belly on me?"

"No, but—"

"Look, if you really feel that way, I tell you what—we can start working out together."

Her face lit up. "You mean it. You'd work out with me?"

"Sure, sure, but I don't know what you're worried about. I find you sexy as hell. You sure you don't want me to prove it to you?"

"You said the kids are asleep?"

"Yeah—you in the mood now?"

Bella winked at him, and whispered huskily, "What do you think?"

Two Weeks later

Jacob handed Bella an envelope with her name on it. "Happy Birthday, honey."

Bella excitedly opened the envelope and her face fell. It was a membership to a fitness club.

"I knew it," she sobbed. "You do think I've put on too much weight, don't you?"

She ran to the bedroom, crying, and shut the door.

Carlie pulled on the leg of Jacob's pants until he finally scooped her up into his arms. "Why is Mommy cryin', Daddy? Is she sad?"

Jacob sat down on the couch and sat Carlie next to him. He rubbed his temples and put his head in his hands. "No, honey, I think she's mad at me."

"But why?"

"That's a good question."

Her head tilted to one side. "Is it one of those female things?"

Jacob's head jerked up at the comment. "Where did you hear that?"

"That's what Uncle Quil says when his girlfriend gets mad at him."

"Well, in this case it's true. When you grow up, try not to be like that, okay?"

"But mommy says that when I grow up, I'll be a woman. Isn't that the same as a female?"

"Yeah, that's right. Now you stay right here. Can you watch your little brother while I talk to mommy?" Liam was in the corner happily playing with building blocks, so he felt safe leaving him for a few minutes.

"Yes, Daddy." She peered at Jacob with her big brown eyes and in all innocence said, "If Mommy's mad, maybe you can tell her that you love her. Then she won't be mad at you anymore."

"Thank you, Carlie, I think I will"—and he did. And that night—thank god—he did not have to sleep on the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

Drabble#9: The Curse of the Black Shirt or/ A Wolf in*Bleeps*Clothing

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

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><p>Bella had a couple of weeks off for summer break, so she decided to take a fun course at Peninsula College—sewing to be exact. I figured it'd be a damn good idea seeing as she would soon be married to a poor boy from the rez, namely me. That could save us a bundle.<p>

She finished her first project—a shirt for me. The construction was perfect; I knew it would be—Bella was as OCD as they come. Now I'm not complaining, it's just one of her little quirks. I'm not perfect either you understand—sometimes she comes unglued with my slovenly ways. Hey, I can't help it, I'm a guy. I'm trying my hardest to be a little neater, but man, it's a long, tough road.

Anyway, back to the shirt—like I said, the construction was A-OK. It was the fabric that was giving me the freakin' heebie-jeebies. It was black cotton with big ol' moons on it. There were wolves in various poses in front of the lunar monstrosities repeated all over the shirt. How could I wear this in front of the other guys? They'd be _howling_ with laughter, but if I didn't wear it, my sweetie would be crushed. Let's face it—I was between a hard rock—and—another harder rock.

We were in the kitchen at my place, drying the dinner dishes. I could tell Bella's brain was starting to whir. She put down the towel and stood there, her head tilted to one side, giving me a questioning look. She might as well have been one of the examiners at the Inquisition. "How come you haven't worn the shirt I made you? Don't you like it?"

"No, it's not that. I'm just waiting for a special occasion." I expected my nose to grow at any minute.

Her face brightened. "Oh, that's right, there's a council meeting tomorrow isn't there?"

God, no—trapped like a rat!

"Yeah, honey—I'll wear it tomorrow." Jeez, how was I going to get out of this one?

I put the cursed thing on the next afternoon. It fit great, and the fabric felt good on my skin—if only the damn print wasn't on it. Maybe if I wore it inside-out? I flipped it around, but then all the seams showed. What about bleaching it accidentally—nah—too obvious. So, I sucked it up and went over to the Uleys'.

The reaction I got was just as I expected. The rest of the pack was practically rolling on the floor with laughter, everyone except Quil and Leah.

"Is this your N_ew_ ... _Moon _shirt?" Paul asked.

That started the laughter even louder.

"Have your laugh, guys. Bella made it for me, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

Leah stepped in, and glared at them. "At least Jacob here, is mature enough to put someone else's feelings ahead of his own. Bella's a lucky woman; that was very sweet of you."

Quil shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what the big joke is. I think that shirt is really cool. I'd wear it."

Emily quieted everyone down "I guess we may as well get started. I don't know where Sam is. He should have been here by now."

Just then, Sam rushed in the door. "Patrol—now—Jared and I picked up a vampire scent in the vicinity."

This was the answer to my prayers. I kicked off my shoes and shorts and ran outside with the others. I phased and shredded the freakin' shirt into a million pieces. There's more than one way to skin a wolf!

We never did find the vamp, but at least my problem was solved or at least I thought so.

* * *

><p>I couldn't look her in the eye knowing what a liar I was. "I'm so sorry, Bells—I had to phase in a hurry to catch that vamp. I didn't have time to remove the shirt. You have every reason to be mad at me." <em>Especially for outright lying to you right now.<em>

Bells took my face in her hands and gazed into my eyes with those beautiful liquid brown orbs of hers. "I'm a little disappointed, yeah, but I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

Whew—dodged the bullet on that one!

"Anyhow, I have enough fabric to make another one just like it."

Somebody shoot me ... Pleeeeaase!

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, I was the proud owner of yet another nightmare. Then it hit me—Quil said he liked it. Maybe I could re-gift the cursed thing. I folded up the shirt and walked over to see Quil.<p>

"Hey, Quil! I yelled when he didn't answer my knock on the door. He came out of the house, looking annoyed. "Geesh, it never fails, as soon as you go into the bathroom, that's when there's someone knocking on the damn door. What is it ... wait what's that in your hands?"

"What's it look like, idiot? Bella made me another shirt. Did you mean what you said that day—I mean about wearing it?"

"Sure, I really think it's great—just my style." He frowned. "Why are you asking me this?"

"'Cuz this shirt is now yours, but if Bella asks—you begged me for it, okay?"

Quil gave me a wicked grin. "Oh what a tangled web we weave—"

"Skip the lecture, do you want the shirt or not?" I shouted

"Give it here, and if you'll excuse me, I still have a deposit to make in the bathroom. Bye, and thanks, but nature calls." He grabbed the piece from my hands and ran back inside the house.

* * *

><p>Bella and I sat on the couch while I spun yet another white lie. "I gave the shirt to Quil, honey. He begged me for it. He'd like you to make him a couple more too."<p>

"I can't get anymore of that fabric, it was a closeout—on sale," she pouted.

Thank God ...

I held her close and whispered in her ear. "Remember that fabric we saw over at Hancock's—the one with the antique autos on it. I'd love a shirt made out of that stuff."

Her adorable little face nearly made me wince with guilt. "If I make it, promise me you'll wear it?"

"On my honor," I replied. I didn't even have to cross my fingers, 'cuz that particular piece of clothing would be just my style. Good thing too, 'cuz the truth hurt and I was sure as hell runnin' out of lies.


	10. Chapter 10

Drabble #10: The Poison, the Pen, and the Pest

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

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><p>Bella and Jacob were relaxing on the beach—well one of them was anyway. Bella was writing in her journal and Jacob was feeling increasingly dejected. She'd been writing in that journal for at least thirty minutes, not paying one iota of attention to the love of her life.<p>

"How long are you gonna write in that journal, Bells."

"Just another five minutes." She tapped her forefinger on her chin, looked up at the sky, and touched the pen to the paper again.

"You said that fifteen minutes ago." He'd make a face, but he knew she wouldn't even notice it.

Shaking her head, she responded, "Geesh, you are so needy today."

He was leaning his head into the crook of her neck trying to see what she was writing so furiously about. "I'm not needy, I'm just ... okay, so I'm needy. I miss you."

She stopped writing for a second. "What are you talking about? I'm sitting here right next to you."

"Correction—your body is sitting right next to me; your mind is in outer space on some planet somewhere."

"That's really poetic; let me write that on a slip of paper here, I think I'll include that in one of my entries."

Jacob sighed and lay down on the blanket, his hands clasped behind his head. "One thousand and one, one thousand and two ..."

Bella laid the pen down onto the crease in the center of the book. "What are you doing?" She sounded obviously irritated.

"I'm counting the minutes 'til you're mine again."

"I can't write with you doing that."

"Then my plan must be working," he muttered.

Jacob stopped his counting, and sat up. Bella's eyebrows were knitted in concentration once more, her pen scratching out her thoughts and feelings for her posterity. Quick as a flash, Jacob grabbed the journal from her hands, reading one of her recent entries Bella attempted desperately to get it back, but Jacob's reflexes were well advanced of hers.

He began reading aloud as she scrambled trying to snatch it from him. "Holy Crow," he read, "Jacob has to be the sexiest guy alive. Every time I look into those smoldering brown eyes my knees grow weak. And his kisses absolutely send his heat down to my toes. I can barely stand it anymore ... Whew! This is some hot stuff, Bells."

Bella's face reflected her discomfort by displaying a beautiful hue of crimson. "Jacob Black, you give that back to me right now!"

Transferring the book to his other side, he swung his hand gently batting her away. "Hell, no—this is really getting juicy. Oh man, listen to this ... Jake has such a gorgeous body, the body of an athlete, it's all I can do to keep my hands off him, and—"

Exasperated, Bella lunged at him, trying her hardest to tackle him. He squirmed away, escaping her pitiful attempt at tackling him, and ran into the pines. She followed, running as fast as she could, but being Bella, she tripped and landed in a pile of green growing vines.

Jacob stopped when he heard her trip, and feeling a little guilty, went back to help her up.

What met his eyes, made him wince. "Crap! Bells, I hate to tell you this, but you're sitting in a patch of poison ivy. Don't move, I'll get you out of there."

He walked around and stood in front of her, reaching for her hands. He pulled her to a standing position and warned, "Try not to touch anything but my hands. I'm going to sit you on that log over there, and I want you to wait for me. I'm gonna bring the blanket back and wrap it around you so the sap doesn't get on the car seat."

Jacob returned a few minutes later as promised. He carried her, wrapped in the blanket, to the car and finally, to the little red house where he lived. He plunked her down near the shower stall, blanket and all and started running the water. "Okay, Bells, put your clothes inside the blanket. Try to keep it on the side that was in contact with you, then I'll throw it in the wash. You can wear some of my clothes until Leah comes over with yours."

Bella followed his instructions. When she finished showering, he knocked on the door. She answered it with a towel tucked around her. She opened the door a crack and Jacob's arm appeared with a pair of cutoffs and a plaid button down shirt in his grasp.

Ten minutes later, Jacob had hoisted Bella up onto the kitchen counter and was busy covering her rash with calamine lotion. He had to admit she was still adorable even with pink polka dots scattered all over her skin.

Later that evening, Jacob apologized. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have teased you like that." He rubbed his nose along her neck.

"I'm sorry too, for ignoring you. You know how much you mean to me."

"After reading that stuff in your journal, I know it now without a doubt. But, can I tell you something?" He took her face in his hands, his warm brown eyes boring into hers.

"Sure, sure. What is it?"

"Don't get mad now, okay? I'm not sorry I read that entry. Man, that was so freakin' hot! And I'm tellin' you something else, too. I have an unused journal in my closet. I think I'll start writing down some of my feelings about you. We can write in our journals together. We can be like ... pen pals. And if we run out of ink, I'll think up something to keep us occupied, something worth writing about—something to burn up the pages."

"Yeah, well give me a little something to scribble about now—I feel a writer's block coming on."

Jacob cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have to tell me twice. Better get the fire hoses ready, 'cuz we're starting a new entry tonight. And _hot_ won't even cover it."


	11. Chapter 11

Drabble # 11: Once Bitten

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

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><p>I felt bad staying away from the girl I loved, but what could I do? Sam was the alpha and he ordered me to keep my distance. In a way, I could see his point. I would never forgive myself if I suddenly lost it and turned on her, but how I missed her! Trying to lessen the pain of loneliness, I kept myself busy. I patrolled with the rest of the pack; protecting our people and any others within our borders.<p>

That particular day, we caught the scent—that sickly sweet scent that turned us into killing machines. We were made for this; our main purpose—to destroy the cold ones. You know them as—Vampires.

We followed the stench to a meadow, and I groaned inwardly as I also recognized another familiar scent—the unmistakable fragrance of freesia mixed with strawberry—Bella Swan, the girl I was so in love with. Why was she here? Then it hit me, this was the place we had been searching for, before I turned wolf.

The sight before us was chilling to say the least. The vampire was talking to Bella, stroking her cheek. Her heartbeat was a dead giveaway that what he was telling her was not very reassuring. He lifted her hair to one side and as he got ready to strike, we pushed into the clearing. He turned in our direction, his disbelief quickly becoming fear—and he began to tread backward.

At that instant Bella's head whipped around toward me and I looked into her eyes. I suddenly felt a strange intangible pull, like I was a planet orbiting around the sun. I sensed that she could feel it, too. All at once, it started to make sense. I had just imprinted on the one I had already chosen to be with.

The pack was on the heels of the leech immediately. I wanted nothing more than to stay with Bella, but my duty to the cause took precedence. I had to leave her in the clearing.

* * *

><p>Chasing the bloodsucker posed no challenge to us. We made short work of the beast. He wouldn't be dining on anyone else ever again.<p>

Our attention returned to the clearing; we picked up the scent of another vamp. When we reached the spot, my blood ran cold as I caught a glimpse of a redhead. She was pulling away from Bella abruptly, her lips stained with blood. My worst fears were confirmed; Bella had been bitten.

_Stay with her_, the voice of the alpha stated. _We'll take care of the redhead_.

I phased back and was at her side in a few moments. She had dropped to the ground, writhing in agony as the fire spread through her veins. I never felt more helpless in my life. Her screams pierced my heart. I touched my lips to the open wound on her neck and began drawing her blood into my mouth, hoping to remove the poison.

After spitting out several mouthfuls, I knew there was nothing more I could do to stop the venom from spreading. Her screaming continued as she pitched and rolled on the forest floor.

"Jacob, help me. I'm burning ...! Make it stop, pleeeeaaase!"

I knelt beside Bella, my heart breaking in two as I watched her suffer like that. My dream had become a nightmare. I had imprinted on the love of my life only to have her taken away in the cruelest of fashions—by transforming her into my natural enemy. Her fate was sealed. Humanity would be leaving her behind in a few short days.

Making up my mind then and there, I would keep her with me 'til her heart stopped beating. I would stay at her side 'til the bitter end.

Sam returned to the meadow in human form, and approached me where I knelt. He placed his hand on my shoulder in a sympathetic gesture.

"The redhead is finished. She won't trouble us again."

He looked at my anguished expression, and remarked, "Bella is your imprint, Jacob. I won't order you to destroy her. You're free to make your own decision."

Nodding my head was all I could do; the crushing weight of my heartache rendering me mute.

Sam phased and the pack followed him home, leaving us alone together.

I couldn't bear to have her lying on the ground, her body jerking at the intensity of the searing pain. I lay down and placed her head on my shoulder, brushing the leaves from her hair, and softly rubbing her arm. I hoped that some of my inner strength would pass along to her and give her a measure of comfort. When the pain finally became unbearable, she blessedly passed out. I sat up and crouching beside her, scooped her up in my arms. Cradling Bella to my chest, I trotted back to my home in La Push.

* * *

><p>At the house, my dad and Rachel were packed and ready to leave. Sue invited them to stay while Bella was with me, burning in transformation. Her tortured cries would fill our home and make their daily living next to impossible.<p>

Placing Bella on my bed, I tucked the covers around her, memorizing the way she looked at this moment. I walked out to the living room, to see Dad and Rachel off.

"I'll call you when it's over," I said through my tears.

"I'll have Sam escort her to Denali. There's another coven there." Billy looked me in the eye and added, "Son, I know you love her, but when the change takes place, you have to be careful, she won't be the fragile girl you once knew." He reached up and patted my cheek.

Rachel threw her arms around me. "I love you, little brother. Don't take any chances."

I held the door open as Rachel wheeled Billy through to the walkway.

* * *

><p>I cooked some dinner while Bella was still out of it. She woke in time to eat, but she was still convulsing in agony, and I had all I could do to get a little juice down her. I lay next to her all night, trying my best to soothe her; all the while my own heart was twisted in misery. The beating of her heart was escalating at a frantic pace, and I knew the end was near. Refusing to sleep, I kept vigil over her. There would be very few precious moments left to share with her. I just didn't want to waste any of our meager time together.<p>

I stayed with her the next day, leaving her side only to catch a little drink here and there and use the bathroom. My appetite was gone; my only need was to be with her. I didn't want her to die alone. Die—I hated that word, but that was what was happening. She was dying, and she would die in my arms! I didn't want to let her go ... but there was nothing I could do about it, except love her up to the moment when she exhaled her last breath.

"Bella, before you leave me ..." I hesitated, choking on the words. "I need you to know how much I love you. Even before the imprint, it was always you. It will always be you. Nothing can ever tear you out of my heart. No one will ever be able to take your place ..."

I sensed her relax a little, and her heartbeat began to slow. This was it! My own heart stopped in my chest and the tears fell. "No, Bella, wait ... not yet ... please, not yet ... can you stay with me just a few more minutes—just a few more minutes, please? God, if you can hear me, can you let me have her a little while longer? I'm not ready to give her up yet," I cried. Holding onto her tightly, I refused to release her.

Her body finally stilled, and she opened her eyes. The red eyes of a vampire did not stare back at me. How could that be? The same liquid chocolate pools gazed intently into mine. I shakily exhaled a long breath, and a sob escaped my lips.

Bella reached out her hand and stroked my face. Her hand was warm, and soft, not cold and stony.

Kissing her face over and over, in relief, I exclaimed, "You came back!"

"I know," she answered. Her expression was one of surprise. "I don't know what happened. The burning began to get less and less, and slowly, I felt this strong pulling sensation reaching out from you, and then the fire was suddenly gone."

I always had this deep seated hatred for the whole imprinting thing. My attitude was now adjusted. If it weren't for the imprint, Bella would be on her way to Denali, leaving me alone and heartbroken.

"Jake," she said softly, "I'm so thirsty; can you get me something to drink?"

I started to stand up. "What can I get you?"

She smiled, warming my heart. "Anything but blood!"

Sitting back down, I clasped her in my arms again. My mouth found hers and we joyously united, moving our lips together fluidly. This was the first of many kisses we would share. She was once bitten, and now she was _bidden_ to be my love for time and all eternity.

* * *

><p>AN: Once again, love conquers all. It can even defeat a _Vampire's Kiss._


	12. Chapter 12

Drabble# 12: Heart of Glass

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>I had been sitting on a proverbial bomb these past nine months. And the bomb had finally detonated. I had no recourse now. Her 18th birthday was a total debacle. What did I expect? It was not in her best interest to be celebrating among a coven of vampires. Yet I was asinine enough to think otherwise. Yes, I was stupid and arrogant to play with the notion that I could tempt fate and have a fragile human girl in love with me. Me—a heartless, soulless creature of the night.<p>

A paper cut—a miserable little paper cut that set off a chain reaction—a chain reaction that would obliterate any hopes for happiness in my pitiful excuse for an existence! I couldn't even refer to it as a life; at best it was a robotic imitation. I would repeat high school and college over and over in an endless circle, never progressing, ever-static in a body that would never grow old or die.

Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. I didn't want Bella to share my fate. I loved her too deeply to damn her to this travesty—this non-living hell. So Jasper's reaction had forced my hand. I had come to a decision; I had to leave her—to ensure her safety.

I couldn't in good conscience blame Jasper; he did what was considered natural for our kind. She was dessert staring him in the face, and he could not resist the impulse to imbibe. I was glad that at least I had saved her. If he had bitten her, I would never have been able to forgive myself. It would have been a burden for Jasper to carry around for eternity, also. He felt bad enough, knowing that his actions had now doomed me to remain loveless forever.

And so it was that I came to be standing in Bella's bedroom where I had spent many nights lying by her side, crooning her lullaby to her as she drifted off to sleep.

Her scent clung to the bedding, her clothes in the closet, and the very walls of her room. The fragrance nearly knocked me to my knees. It was without a doubt, akin to a personal brand of heroin. Her soft form, her sweet voice, the sight of those melted chocolate eyes would be but a torturing memory indelibly inscribed in my non-beating heart. How could I go on without her? Perpetual loneliness—that was my lot. I had to face the fact, she would go on without me, and I would let her do so without any further interference. I should never have interfered in the first place. It was selfish and extremely foolish of me. Because of my utter stupidity, I would suffer all the more, knowing the extent of my loss.

The album I was looking for was laying on top of her dresser. If I had a viable heart, it would have stopped in mid beat as I eased out the pictures of the two of us posing in her living room that fateful day. I couldn't destroy the images; it would almost be sacrilege to decimate the record of a love so pure. I laid them on the bed, and proceeded to remove the CD I had made for her from the player. Could I ever play that melody again without feeling pain and regret?

A criminal—that's what I was, rifling through her drawers like a common criminal. I finally found the airline tickets; they were in the top drawer of the nightstand, and now I was drowning in that scent. It was torturing me without pity.

I sat down on the bed with the tickets, the pictures and the CD grasped in my hands. I was frozen literally and figuratively. I couldn't move from the spot. My whole world was contained in this tiny room. I looked around memorizing every crack in the plaster, and knick in the wooden floor. The floor—it had a loose board near her bed. I crouched down, and lifting the board, secured the precious objects underneath it. The whole process was strangely symbolic, a kind of closure, resembling a funeral. How fitting, as I already felt that I had buried my reason for existing.

I glanced around the room one last time, knowing that I would never set foot in here again. My chest convulsed with dry sobs as I ambled to the open window. I knew at that moment, that even though I was presumed to be heartless, I could still feel it breaking like so many pieces of shattered glass.

I leapt from the window and ran and ran, until I could run no more. There was no place far enough to make me forget, or take away this pain from my stone cold heart. Coming to our meadow, I fell to my knees and whispered her name, never to utter it again, "Bella . . . my one and only love."

Today the truth was buried in my suffering; this evening would bear the heartache borne of deceit.


	13. Chapter 13

Drabble #13: **Puppy Love**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the proper owner of Twilight.

* * *

><p>Rainy days are the perfect mileu for ducks, worms and—yes, even vampires—especially vampires. So to make the most of it, Rosalie had talked Emmett into taking her shopping at the mall. She needed some new makeup, nail polish, a couple of nighties, and as she passed by the pet shop—maybe a puppy?<p>

She stopped short, eyeing a cute tan colored Jack Russell Terrier. Rosalie tapped her finger on the window. The puppy stood on his hind legs and wagging his tail, licked the pane where her finger rested.

"Isn't he just the cutest little thing?" She glared at Emmett whose attention was obviously invested in another shop window. "Emmett, you're not looking!"

He was miles away, staring at a 52 inch plasma TV—football season was right around the corner. He fantasized about placing it at the far wall of their room, across from the bed. Sweeeet!

Rosalie noticed the smile on his face as he looked with avarice at the epitome of entertainment technology.

She dropped her hand from the window, and turned to him, scowling. "Don't even think about it!"

"Oh, c'mon Rose, it's not like we can't afford it, and we've got plenty of space in our bedroom.

"No—you are not putting that monstrosity in our private sanctuary. I won't have it."

"Can't we compromise here?" He moved closer to her, wrapping his brawny arms around her shoulders, and nuzzling her cheek.

"You're not going to sweettalk me into bringing one of those gargantuan boob tubes into our bedroom."

He whispered in her ear, "How about if I keep it in the game room?"

"I'll have to think about it."

Her stance softened a bit. He knew he was gaining ground. Just one more sly move on his part and football season would be brought into his home in a big way.

"What if I let you buy that puppy you were just looking at?"

Her face lit up. "Oh, Emmett, you really mean it? I can bring home that puppy?"

"Anything for you, sweetheart." _You get the puppy, and I get a front row seat to the games, yeah!_

~ OoO ~

After finishing the rest of their shopping—including ordering that plasma TV—they came back to the pet store. Rosalie picked out some squeaky toys, dog biscuits, a pillow-soft puppy bed and of course puppy chow.

Never being able to bear children was one of the reasons she hated this half-life, this useless existence. Emmett really didn't need her, well except for the lovin' part. Everyone needed love in their lives—even vampires.

She was aware of all the people who enjoyed doting on their pets, to the point of absurdity. She could see why; being needed gave you a purpose in life. That little puppy would be totally dependent on her, and in return, she would receive unconditional love. No doubt about it—a dog never lied about love. It was as plain as the wag of his tail, and the lap of his tongue.

When the clerk placed that little pup in her arms, her stone cold heart turned to mush. It was puppy love at first sight.

~ oOo ~

They arrived home and the first thing Emmett did was take the dog from Rosalie, and run into the house with it. Jasper was in the living room looking through some of Alice's shopping bills when Emmett handed him the puppy.

"Here, I have a present for you. Take care of this, will ya? I have to help Rose get the rest of the stuff out of the pickup." He yelled up to Edward on the second floor. "Hey, dude, I need to borrow your muscles. I've got a new addition to the house, and I don't want it getting'rained on."

Edward ran down the stairs and out the door, with Emmett.

Jasper looked down at the warm creature in his hands and shrugged his shoulders. Why would Emmett present him with a gift? It wasn't his birthday. He took the puppy outside—no sense in letting the little thing make a mess in the living room.

Emmett and Edward were back in a flash with the TV set, and placed it in a prominent position in the game room. Emmett gave Edward a high five, as they came out of the room practically dancing with glee.

Looking around the room, and noticing Jasper's empty arms, Emmett asked, "Hey, Jasper, where's the puppy?"

"I put him outside; I reckoned Esme would not cotton to stains on her new rug. I did not have time to—"

Emmett was already out the door, calling to the puppy. There was no response, and his keen sense of smell ferreted out the reason. Right beside the tulip garden, he found the little guy, laying limp as a mackerel, his blood drained.

"Jasper," he shouted.

Running to the backyard, Jasper answered, "What in tarnation are you yellin' about?"

Emmett's golden eyes got as big as saucers. "What the hell did you do?"

"I do not rightly know why you seem to be so upset. You told me it was a present and to take care of it. So I did. I was mighty thirsty, and it surely did hit the spot."

Emmett was slapping his forehead with his hand. "Rose is gonna hit the spot for sure. She's gonna kill you man! That was her dog; she just got it from the petstore."

"Well I tell you what, we're goin' to havta call a calf rope on that one. Lordy, lordy, I did not think Rosalie was that fond of dogs."

"If you value your neck, you better hightail it down to the mall and get her another puppy—a Jack Russell Terrier pronto."

"I aim to do just that, directly. You do not need to get your feathers all ruffled."

Jasper took off to the garage like a jet. Alice came outside looking confused.

Now what? "Hey, Alice somethin' the matter?"

"I just had the strangest vision. I saw Jasper in a petstore buying a puppy."

Looking sheepish, Emmett said, "Yeah, that's right, and hopefully this time, he'll be back with a _full-blooded_ terrier in his arms."


	14. Chapter 14

Drabble # 14: **Sooo Stupid!**

**By Lady of Spain**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns the rights to Twilight.

This drabble is dedicated to someone special who shall remain nameless. Sufficient to say—you know who you are. So I won't embarrass you.

~ oOo ~

The tears were streaming down Bella's cheeks like a storm during the monsoon season. She knew she was being ridiculous, but they wouldn't stop. Her emotions were uncontrollable right now. She was beyond hopeless.

It all started innocently enough; she was starting dinner, and the bacon was frying in the electric skillet. When it was finished crisping up, she would add it to the other pan, along with some of the grease to complete the main dish.

To remove the grease, she used a blue, disposable plastic spoon, and carefully scooped the hot grease a spoonful at a time into the remaining ingredients.

The grease began dripping at the bottom of the spoon and she noticed long thin ribbons of blue marbling throughout the thick fluid in the skillet and intertwining among the strips of bacon. Startled, she stared at the spoon. She could see straight down through the bowl of the utensil. The hot grease had essentially melted away the plastic, sending it dripping onto the bacon and decorating the pan with swirls of liquid blue curlicues.

There was no more bacon; the skillet was a plasticized disaster, and hopes of dinner were crushed.

~oOo ~

And so it was that a hungry Jacob came home from work, looking forward to a welcome kiss and a usually scrumptious dinner. Instead, he walked into the kitchen, a strange odor permeating the air, and found a distraught Bella sitting on the cold floor, sobbing pitifully.

He ran to her side, crouching down next to her, resting her head on his shoulder. In a moment of panic, he spit out, "Bells—are you hurt?"

She shook her head, unable to speak through her incessant sobbing.

"Are your parents okay?"

Bella nodded. Jacob scratched his head. What in the world put her into this tailspin?

"C'mere sweetheart," he crooned as he swept her into his arms, and off of the floor." Now tell me what's the matter."

In between sobs, she blurted, "I'm so stupid." She pointed to the ruined meal and skillet. She sobbed again, and repeated," I'm _sooo_ stupid."

He walked with her into the living room and sat on the couch. He kept her on his lap as he kissed her hair and held onto her. He chuckled softly. "You're not stupid, honey, you're just pregnant. Don't cry; it's all right. I'll order us a pizza and clean up this mess."

~ oOo ~

Later that night, Jacob snuck out of bed, gathered up all the plastic utensils, and put them in the garage under lock and key. He would hide them there for a few months; there'd be a little one in the house by that time. Until then only utensils made from natural materials would enter his home, that—and a new electric skillet. Out of self preservation he would also buy more bacon—pre-cooked. He loved Bella to the moon and back, but jeez, they still had to eat didn't they? And let's face it pizza was expensive!


	15. Chapter 15

Drabble # 15: **Movie Night**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>They were in the Taj. Jake was tightening the last bolt on the Rabbit's engine, and then he'd be finished.<p>

"Okay, Bells, all done. We can go to the movies now." He reached for a rag to wipe off his hands, then led Bella to the house. "What are we seeing tonight anyway?"

"It's a new one, called Abducted. Taylor Lautner's starring in it."

Rolling his eyes, Jake groaned in disgust. "Oh, God, not him again."

"I thought you liked Taylor."

"He's okay, I guess. I just get tired of people teasing me, saying I look like him. Let's face it, I'm a lot hotter."

"Geesh, vanity, thy name is Jacob . . ." She laughed.

"C'mon, Bells, seriously, what's he got that I haven't, besides money, and a good haircut?"

"Well he can act, for one."

"I can act too; I do a great imitation of a wolf. I really get into character."

"Ha, ha, very funny. Now that I think about it though, you do _act_ pretty stupid sometimes."

"Wait a minute, that's no act . . . Crap, that didn't come out right, did it?"

They got to Jake's bedroom and he told Bells, "Can you please get my red pin striped shirt from my closet while I go shave? And my 'Black' slacks too."

Bella couldn't believe her ears. She stood by the closet door with her mouth open. "You have got to be kidding me. You're going to shave now? We're going to be late for the movie!"

"It'll take me two minutes. I don't have that much hair on my face. Jeez, you don't have to freak out over it."

"All right, I'm timing you. And if we're late for that movie, you're not getting kissed for a week."

Bella searched for the shirt and pants out of the jumbled mess he called a closet. She felt like throwing in a grenade and shouting_, fire in the hole_! By the time she found them in that disaster, he was already out of the bathroom.

"See—told ya', Bells. I'm all clean shaven and kissably smooth."

Bells sidled up to him and ran her palm along his jaw. "Ooh, that is nice."

"Wanna try it out?" He ran his tongue over his bottom lip seductively.

Scowling, Bella announced, "We don't have time for that. We've got to get going."

"Don't have enough time to do it up properly, huh? Now there's a come-on if I ever heard one," he grinned.

Placing her hands on her hips, Bella glared at him. "I'll be in the kitchen. Now hurry up and get dressed."

* * *

><p>Jacob came out dressed and ready, and looking like a male model.<p>

Bella had to smile. "Now, you _really_ are his doppelganger. I hope no one bothers you for an autograph."

"Hey, that's a good idea. I could charge two bucks a piece. Maybe I could get more, ten bucks a pop. Whaddya think?"

"I think you're letting this go to your head. C'mon, let's go."

* * *

><p>The movie was great and even Jake had to admit that he liked it. Then there were a few girls at the theater gazing at him and whispering among themselves, which he liked even better.<p>

He took Bells back to his place so she could pick up her truck. They made a detour at his couch first.

Jacob had his arms around her, holding her tight. "Tell me something, Bells, do you really think that Taylor is sexy?"

Her head jerked up in surprise at his blunt question. "Without a doubt!"

"Well, since I'm his doppelganger and all, does that make me sexy too."

"You're just fishing for compliments aren't you?"

"Just answer the question for me. I've gotta know if my girl finds me sexier than Taylor. I wanna hear you admit it."

"Jacob Black, you are and ever will the sexiest man alive as far as I'm concerned. Now, can I please have your autograph?" She pretended to look through her skirt pockets. "Crud, I don't think I have ten dollars on me."

"I don't have a pen either. How about a lip print, will that do?"

He started to _sign his autograph_ when there was a knock at the door.

"Crap, who could that be?"

When he opened the door, he was amazed to see three young ladies standing there giggling. "You can't hide from us;we know who you are. Would you sign your autograph for us please?" the spokesman of the group said.

"Hey, wait a minute," Jake replied. "You girls have gotta know, I'm not Taylor Lautner. If I was, do you think I'd be living in a place like this?"

One of the girls, a tall blonde, countered with. "You're just saying that. You could be getting in character for a new movie role."

"Yeah, well I'm not. Look, girls—I'm not Taylor."

Another girl, a brunette, spoke up. "We don't care. Could you please sign your autograph, pretty pleee-aase."

Anything to get back to _my_ girl . . . "Okay, but I'm signing it, Jacob Black."

The girls all started giggling again, as he signed all their papers and magazines. One of the group looked like she was ready to swoon. Great—what was he going to do if she fainted dead away? He turned to go into the house, when the brunette tugged on his shoulder. "Will you take a picture with me?"

"Sure, sure," he reluctantly answered. One picture turned into a dozen. After posing with each of the girls several times, they thanked him and left, beeping and waving as they did so.

Jake practically ran into the house to escape. "Whew! Papparazi purgatory. How do these celebrities put up with it? Now where were we?"

* * *

><p>The next day, Bells called Jake to tell him what time she would be seeing him.<p>

Her ears were assaulted with Jake's ranting. "God, Bells, it was horrible. A steady stream of cars kept comin' down the road—the whole night long. I didn't get a wink of sleep. All these girls begging for my autograph—even a couple of guys. Those two had me worried there. Anyhow, I had to show them my driver's license, and they still wouldn't believe me."

She smiled. It was an amusing situation. "Poor baby, I'll come over and make it all better. See you soon, _Taylor_."

* * *

><p>Bells got to his home in record time. She couldn't help but notice a huge cardboard sign hanging on Jake's door. It read:<p>

I am NOT Taylor Lautner.

You got that?

Now go away!

Bells knocked on his door, and slipped him ten bucks when he opened it. Jacob rolled his eyes, swiveled his head in every direction furtively, and yanked her quickly inside.

He _signed her autograph—_if you know what I mean—and didn't even have to show her his ID. After all, there was only one lip print like his on file. As their mouths locked together, they shut out the world.

The kiss ended and Jake pulled away, gazing at her with smoldering dark eyes. "I'll bet Taylor can't kiss like that."

Bells winked at him and answered, "Taylor, who?"

* * *

><p>AN: I purposely altered the name of the movie. I didn't know if it could be construed as copyright infringement or not.


	16. Chapter 16

Drabble # 16: The Knave of Hearts

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p><span>The Queen of Hearts<span>

The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,

All on a summer's day,

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,

And took them clean away.

Who stole those tarts, who stole those tarts,

The King and Queen both cried,

Off with his head, the jury said,

This villain must be tried.

Anonymous

* * *

><p>Shoot! Bella had just finished making six dozen petit fours. She must have lent her other covered jelly roll pan to Angela for her baby shower. She had to hurry and get these babies covered up before they dried out. They had to be perfect for Sam and Emily's reception tomorrow. She covered the first batch and placed them in the refrigerator. She left the rest on the kitchen counter and hurried into her car and literally peeled out of the driveway.<p>

* * *

><p>"Man, I'm pooped," Quil complained. "Why can't women make up their minds. 'Put the tables here . . . no, I think maybe they'll look better against the wall. No, I think they did look better on the other side. What do you think, Emily?' Just put the damn tables in the middle, who cares?"<p>

Embry agreed with his pack brother. "Those two better be happy forever, because I don't want to have to set up another wedding ever again."

Smiling at his two best friends, Jacob commented, "Setting up all that junk made me hungry. Whaddya say, guys, let's go to my place. Bells has been baking away and frosting her little heart out. She always bakes a little extra and leaves it sitting out for me. Isn't that sweet? I can't wait to see what she's got for me today."

And so the wolves descended on the Blacks' residence and Jacob led them into the kitchen. "Wow, what I tell ya, boys? My Bells has done it again. Look at that tray of goodies. Jeez, they're almost too pretty to eat."

"Gosh, they're so little. I'll have to eat at least a dozen to fill up," Quil groused.

Slapping his arm, Embry snarled, "Will you quit griping? It's free food isn't it?"

* * *

><p>They all sat around the table, licking their fingers. Embry patted his stomach. "Those were amazing. Jacob, my man, you are one lucky devil to have a wife that can cook like that. My taste buds are still applauding."<p>

"Yeah, that I am, guys . . . that I am. Hey, it's gettin' late. You better go, Bells should be back soon. I'll clean up here and wash this tray. See ya!"

Bella pulled in a few minutes after the twosome left the house. She carried in the covered pan and two pizzas that she stopped to pick up for dinner. Jacob greeted her with a kiss at the door, taking the pizzas from her hands and placing them on the kitchen table.

Bella looked around, mystified. "What happened to my petit fours, you know, those little cakes I left?"

Grinning at her proudly, Jacob said, "Ha, I bet you thought I was gonna leave the mess for you. I cleaned it all up and the tray's all washed and put away."

"But . . . where are they?"

Jacob quickly noticed the look of dismay on her face. Uh-oh. Maybe they weren't for him after all. "I . . . ate . . . them," he confessed.

Bella let out a gasp, and collapsed onto a chair. She covered her face with her hands. "Those were for the wedding tomorrow. What am I going to do now?"

Running to her side, Jacob crouched down near her chair, and gazed sadly into her eyes. "Jeez, I'm so sorry, honey. I saw them sitting on the counter and I thought they were extras, set aside just for me."

Jacob could see tears forming in her eyes. "I wouldn't mind if you just ate a couple, but my gosh, Jake—three dozen? How could you possibly eat three dozen?"

Hanging his head in shame, Jacob replied quietly, "I had help." He added, "I'll make it up to you. I'll help us whip up some together."

"If it were only that simple. It took me six hours to make them. I need a cake. I need fondant. I need icing, all in different colors. We can't just whip some up together."

* * *

><p>Dinner was quieter than usual. Jacob washed the dishes as Bella got out ingredients for another batch of petit fours. He helped as best as he could, but time was running out. The sheet cake was set out to cool. The icing was in the fridge and she still had to start the fondant.<p>

Jacob took her hand and whispered, "Bells, C'mon, it's getting late. Let's go to bed. Leave that for tomorrow."

She reluctantly got ready for bed, and climbed under the covers.

"I really am sorry, Bells." Jacob wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the back of her neck.

"I know," she said softly. "You didn't do it on purpose. I shouldn't have been in such a hurry. I should have left you a note."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Jacob woke with a start. He reached out for Bella but her side of the bed was empty. He heard noises in the kitchen and went to investigate. Bella was cutting the cake into little shapes with cookie cutters, and had the fondant boiling on the stove. He went back to bed, feeling lower than a snake.<p>

Hours later, he woke again. Poor Bella was still at it, fashioning the icing into dainty flowers in the middle of each fondant covered morsel. At six AM, she finally came back to bed, only to get up again at eight.

The wedding went off without a hitch and everyone raved over the petit fours.

Bella was dead on her feet, and Jacob had to practically hold her up while they danced. After the reception on the way home, Bella fell asleep in the car, so Jacob carried her into the house, changed her clothes and tucked her into bed.

The next morning he went over to Sue's, and asked her to show him how to make brownies. Jacob cut them into squares and Sue instructed him in how to decorate with icing.

When Bella woke up, Jacob refused to let her get dressed. He dragged her into the kitchen. There on the table were the brownies, spread out on a tray spelling out the words: I luv U Bells, plz frgv me, in white frosting.

Those brownies were the best she ever tasted. Must've been the added ingredient. Into the batter, Jacob had secretly added several ounces of—love.


	17. Chapter 17

Drabble # 17: The Fender Bender

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>Standing at the doorway, Jacob yelled to Bella. "Hey Bells, I'm heading over to Embry's to hitch a ride to work today. He wants to show off his new car. Come and give me a goodbye kiss."<p>

Bella poked her head into the living room. "Don't be so greedy. I already gave you one this morning."

"We're counting them now? Jeez, the honeymoon must be over."

She marched right up to him. Holding him tightly, she met his full lips and set them on fire. Then she drew away, and looking rather smug, retorted, "There, now are you satisfied?"

He ducked his head down to meet those chocolate eyes of hers and winked mischievously. "Hell, no—keep that thought open for tonight. Then ask me again." He gave her another quick embrace and walked out the door, whistling.

Crap, she had to hurry or she'd be late to work. Grabbing her keys from the coffee table, she rushed out to the garage. She clicked the remote and the garage door lifted. As she quickly backed up, she suddenly heard a distinct crunch and her truck lurched forward. What the . . .?

A sinking feeling settled in her stomach. Bella now remembered something Jacob said before leaving. He was hitching a ride with Embry. Crap, that just meant that the crunch she heard was the sum of a scientific equation—two objects containing mass cannot occupy the same space at the same time. The crumpled fenders now displayed proof of that. Jacob's beloved Rabbit was wearing a battle scar that she inflicted, not to mention the big dent in her Chevy's bumper. How would she explain this to Jacob?

She quickly jetted out of her truck and opened the door to the rabbit. Luckily she had a spare key on her keyring. The car started right up so at least there was no damage to the motor. She backed it out of the driveway so she could pull her truck onto the road. After the Chevy was parked, she drove the Rabbit into the two-car garage to conceal it from Jacob. Bella had never really seen him angry in the eight months they'd been married. But this could possibly spark an explosion that would be hard to contain. Crap—why me? she thought.

* * *

><p>Bella hurried home from the high school. She wondered if any of the kids learned a thing that day; she was so distracted. All she kept thinking about was how to soften the blow of what she had to tell him. After all, it was an accident. It's not like she got up this morning with the intent of destroying the front end of his car.<p>

Lasagna—she would make lasagna, his favorite. What could she make for dessert? Pot de crème; maybe that would fit the bill. She raced around getting everything ready. She put a nice dress on, and a little makeup. She curled her hair, brushing it out in soft waves, just the way he liked it. As a final touch, there was a table cloth covering the table and candles placed on top of it. Soft romantic music emanated from the stereo.

The stage was set, and stage fright was setting in. The butterflies in her stomach were on the warpath. What was he going to say? Bella sat down at the table and waited for her husband, dreading the verdict.

Bella heard Embry's car drive up. She jumped at the sound of the front door knob turning, then at Jacob's voice yelling," See you tomorrow, Embry!"

Jacob squinted in the dark, and trailed to the kitchen, his keen sense of smell leading him there. He spotted Bella all dolled up, and suddenly clutched. Oh no, was this some special occasion he had forgotten about? There were his favorite foods, lasagna, garlic toast, salad, Martinelli's. The best dishes sparkled in candlelight no less. Bella looked even more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. Did she seriously ponder about his little comment this morning? Was this her way to seduce him? If that were her intention, he was surprised that she hadn't greeted him dressed in saran wrap. Nah, he couldn't be that lucky tonight. Besides, the way she looked right now in the candle's glow . . . well, she couldn't look any more seductive, not to his eyes, anyway.

Jacob stood behind one of the chairs, not knowing what to say—yeah, that was a first. Mr. Talkaholic at a loss for words? Okay, he'd try a compliment to break the ice.

"God, Bells, you look so beautiful." That was a good start. "And the food, man, it smells great. Is there some reason why you went all out tonight?" He hoped that didn't sound too stupid.

She wasn't looking at him, plus she seemed awfully nervous. "Um . . . Go ahead and sit down. I have something to tell you, but let's eat first, okay?"

Jacob suddenly felt very excited. Was she going to tell him that she was pregnant? Why would she be nervous? He would welcome that news. Didn't she know that?

Bella served the food and Jacob tried to cut the silence with talk about Embry's new car and what went on at the rehab center that day. They finished their food, and Jacob scooted his chair closer to Bella and took her hand in his.

Holy cow, his warm eyes were sparkling from the light cast from the candles. She hated to spoil this moment by confessing her horrible news. She swallowed once and stammered, "Come with me to the garage."

What the . . . He guessed being pregnant was not the news of the day. Jacob put his arm around her waist and was surprised when she stiffened at his touch. Whatever was so awful that she was flinching at his touch? He wanted this uncomfortable atmosphere to dissipate already.

They stepped into the garage and Bella turned to him with tears in her eyes. "Jacob," she sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I accidentally ran into your car with my truck this morning. Both fenders are crushed. I'll take it to the body shop if you don't have time to fix it yourself."

"Is that what all this was about?" Jacob scratched his head.

"I was afraid that you'd blow your stack. I've never really seen you angry before, and I was so scared. I didn't want you to be mad at me."

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, expecting the worst. Instead, she felt his arms tackling her waist, his lips at her neck.

Confused, Bella pulled her head back to gaze at him. He didn't seem mad at all.

"Honey, did you get hurt?" he asked quietly.

"No," she answered.

"Then that's all I care about. So the car has a crumpled bumper—big freakin' deal. It's just a thing. It can always be replaced, but I could never replace you—not in a million years. But I do expect you to pay for the damages.

"I'll set some money aside every week," She replied seriously.

Jacob smirked at her. "That's not exactly what I had in mind." He wiggled his eyebrows, scooped her up in his arms and ran with her back into the house.

The dirty dishes unfortunately did not get washed that evening. But Bella's first installment toward her debt was paid, and Jacob was indeed satisfied with the payment. Come to think of it, so was she, huh . . .


	18. Chapter 18

Drabble # 18: A Lot of Crabbing

Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by S. Meyer. Warning: Bathroom Humor.

* * *

><p>"Do ya' think you two idiots can handle this job?"<p>

Quil stood up from the Cleawaters' couch, a grin pasted in place. "No worries, we got it."

Leah narrowed her eyes at her pack brothers. "I better not regret this, guys. This is my one and only bachelorette party. Now get going. The traps are out back."

~ oOo ~

The two _voluntolds_ walked around to the backyard. Grabbing one of the traps, Quil groused, "Geesh, there's one big crab already. I sure feel sorry for Curro. I hope he can handle her."

"You said it," Embry complained. "Man, if I ever saw her in a good mood, I would probably die on the spot."

The traps were lifted and tossed into Jacob's borrowed Rabbit. They got to the dock five minutes later, pulled them out and set the bait in each one. Then everything went into their boat for an eventful morning of crabbing.

* * *

><p>Pulling up the traps for the tenth time, Embry, let out a frustrated groan. "What are we going to tell Leah? She's going to rip our heads off."<p>

"Yeah, man, we've been here for hours. Where are all the crabs hiding?"

"Maybe we should put a little distance between us and those other boats out here."

Quil frowned. "That shouldn't make a difference. Never has before. Anyway, those guys are fishing, not crabbing."

They cast the metal boxes back into the ocean again and waited. After a while Embry began looking a little panicked. He was starting to cramp. Damn, he knew he shouldn't have eaten so many egg salad sandwiches. Now he was paying for it.

"We're going to have to give it up, Quil. This was a total bust. I need to get back in a hurry."

Shaking his head in response, Quil retorted, "Oh no, I'm not going back empty handed. I'll never hear the end of it. This little piece of history will be written in the annals of La Push. My grandchildren will be chanting the song of the Quileute crabless crabbers."

Embry began breathing kind of funny. "I'm telling you, we need to get back."

Quil looked at his buddy with a question in his eyes. What's your hurry, you got a hot date?"

"Hell, yeah, a date with the bathroom. I've gotta go—bad!"

"Sh**! Quil exclaimed.

"Exactly . . ." Embry answered. By now, his face was turning green, and he was starting to squirm uncomfortably.

"Well, damn, Embry. We'll never make it in time. Why don't you just use the empty bucket the bait was in?"

Embry's eyes got gigantic. "Are you serious? I can't moon all these boaters out here. They're too close. Some of them have ladies in them too."

Quil suddenly jerked his head up. "Okay, get over the side. No one will see you then."

The boat swayed as Embry quickly jumped over the side into the water. He got his pants down in the nick of time, and let out a sigh of relief as the contents of his intestines dropped to the ocean floor. His face finally relaxed and returned to its normal coloration.

Zipping up his cutoffs, he climbed back into the boat. Embry muttered, "Phew—that was close."

"I warned you not to eat that last sandwich," Quil snickered.

The grin on his face irritated poor Embry. "Shut up, Quil. It's not funny."

"It never is when the joke's on you," he guffawed.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes went by. Quil started to haul in one of the traps. "Okay, let's see what we've got.<p>

"Damn, Embry, give me a hand here. I think it's caught in some seaweed or something."

They both pulled harder and the trap came up teeming with crabs. The other one was jam- packed too.

"I guess we were using the wrong kind of bait before, huh?" Quil suggested.

Embry stared at the Quil in amazement. They'd never seen so many crabs.

* * *

><p>Leah was pleasantly surprised at the enormous haul. She actually smiled at the crabbers "Gawd, what the hell did you guys use for bait, and can I get some of it."<p>

Gazing down at the floor in embarrassment, Embry scuffed his shoe on the wooden floor. Leah looked at him, puzzled.

Quil sailed into his discourse. "Sure, there's plenty more where that came from, but you'll have to wait twenty four hours for Embry to deliver it. It takes that long to process. He'll need a few egg salad sandwiches though."

Embry's cheeks were getting redder by the minute. "C'mon Quil. I've gotta go."

Peering at his friend blankly, Quil responded with, "Again?"

* * *

><p>AN: Believe it or not, this is a true story. Cross my heart and hope to die!


	19. Chapter 19

Drabble # 19: On Stage

Disclaimer: S. Meyer Owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>I can't believe Embry talked me into being in this production—a musical no less. I can sing but my voice isn't that strong. And as for my dancing—does two left feet ring a <em>Bella<em>?

I felt sorry for him; they needed one more bride for the seven brothers and were at their wits end. If the last bride couldn't be found, the whole play would have to be scrapped. Jacob was no help whatsoever. He actually snickered when I announced that I would be playing one of the brides. The snickering turned into dismay though. He realized that a lot of my afternoons and evenings would be taken up rehearsing at the College. With his job at the garage, my job at Edible Arrangements, classes, homework and getting some sleep, there was barely any time to get in any lovin'. And that, my friends, made him a little grumpy at times.

We were supposed to finish our last rehearsal on Thursday afternoon, but one of the main actors had a conflict, so it got switched to Thursday evening.

My cell phone went off during that time. It was Jacob, the love of my life.

"Jeez, Bells, I was hoping we could go out somewhere tonight. I've barely seen you these past six weeks. I miss you. Can't you tell the director that you don't feel well, and have to leave?"

"That would be lying, and you know what a _convincing_ liar I am. I'm not that great at acting . . . not like you are. You should've tried out for a part, then we could've spent some time together."

I heard a very audible sigh at the other end. "Well, damn I wanted to discuss something important with you too."

"I'm sorry, Jake, but right now, this rehearsal is more important."

"Wanna make a bet?" he muttered. "Okay, I don't like it, but I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then."

I waved at Embry, who was trying desperately to get my attention. "I can't see you then either, that's opening night."

"Crap, I forgot. And I've gotta patrol late that night, so I can't see you afterwards."

"I have to go; Embry keeps motioning me to get over to the stage area. Bye, Jake. I love you. I really am sorry, I miss you too."

His sad voice made me wince. "Bye, Bells, love you more."

* * *

><p>The musical went off fairly well. By that, I mean, I didn't face plant onto the stage. We were doing the last bit of the final act, right before the curtain call. Embry had my hand in his as the performer playing the preacher spoke his line. "If there is anyone who knows of any impediments as to why this couple should not be married, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."<p>

A familiar voice rang out loud and clear from the back of the auditorium. "I object!" All of the cast members cast their eyes in Jacob's direction. He swaggered up the aisle toward the stage. "Don't do it, Bella. He doesn't love you like I do. I know you love me too! Let these people know it."

You could have heard a pin drop. The audience was straining to hear what this cheeky individual had to say. The performers were stunned. I was mortified. What was he doing?

He leapt up onto the stage, and faced the bewildered people in the packed room. More politely than I ever imagined he could be, Jacob stated this. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt this production, but I have an important message to deliver to this lady."

Embry dropped my hand as Jacob muscled in between us. He grabbed my by the waist and proceeded to show the audience an amorous display of passionate kisses. Then to my utter shock, he dropped to one knee, and in front of the whole audience, said, "Bella Marie Swan, I'm crazy in love with you." My hand immediately went to my mouth, and the tears started. "Will you make me the happiest man alive and say you'll marry me?"

Several people in the crowd were yelling, "Yes, say yes . . .Marry him, Bella!"

"Yes," I cried, loud enough for everyone to hear. He took the ring from a box he was holding, held it up for everyone to see and slipped it on my finger. Jacob lifted me up and spun us in a circle as wild applause broke out. There were cheers and a standing ovation, as Jacob held me in his arms, bridal fashion and carried me off the stage.

The preacher finally got the audience to settle down, and finished his last line. "I now pronounce you men and wives."

* * *

><p>Jacob and I were sitting in a front row seat—well, Jacob was—I was sitting in his lap with my arms around his neck. People were shaking our hands and congratulating us as they exited the building.<p>

The director finally approached. "Jacob, would you be interested in trying out for our next musical?" He looked like he was in earnest.

Jacob laughed." You obviously never heard me sing."

"Can you growl?" the man asked.

I didn't say a word. I just smiled at my wolfboy.

"Oh, yeah, that I can do." He winked at me.

"That's all you need to do. Our next musical is _Beauty and the Beast_. I think you'd make one helluva sexy beast. Think about it, will you?" He shook Jacob's hand. "And by the way, that was quite a showstopper."

As he walked away, Jacob turned to me and asked, "Do you think he's right? I mean could I be the next sexy beast?"

I cocked one eyebrow, and smirking, countered with, "What do you think?"

He broke out into his famous Jacob smile.

I was in shock for the second time today. "You're not seriously considering his offer, are you?"

"Only if you play Belle . . ."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, Like that would ever happen."

"I don't know," he answered smugly, "I can growl pretty loud . . ."

* * *

><p>AN: For those of you not into musicals. The play was _Seven Brides for Brothers_. This proposal actually happened at the end of this play for one of my friends who was in the production.


	20. Chapter 20

Drabble # 20: The Chili Dog

Disclaimer. S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>Bella set the bowl of water out by the back door. While she was leaning down, a piece of brown leather caught her eye. <em>What's this?<em> she thought. Crap, another dog collar lay destroyed on the ground, chewed to oblivion. How did _Hereboy_ wiggle out of his collars so fast?

"Hereboy, c'mere!" she called.

Why did she ever agree to let Jacob pin that ridiculous name on him? "We can always call him Edward," he had snickered.

Wagging his tail, he ran up to her licking her hand, his paws flat against her chest. _Just like Jake_, she thought—always happy, always affectionate, always ready to get in a feel. "Down, boy, down," she commanded. She had to laugh. She had used that phrase on Jake this morning too.

She yelled through the screen door to her husband, "Hey, Jake, we need another dog collar. This one's shot to hell."

Jacob came out to the porch, a sandwich in his hand. "Damn, that's the third one this month. Do they make metal dog collars?"

He looked down at Hereboy, shaking his finger at him. "Bad dog. You're running us into the poorhouse."

He packed the sandwich away, and grabbed Bella around the waist. "Speaking of naughty dogs . . ."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Not now, Jake. I'm in the middle of making chili for all you wolfboys. It's my turn to have them over, remember?"

"Sure, sure, as long as you remember that it'll be my turn tonight. I'll be cookin' up a treat for you. It'll be really hot!" He gave her his most irresistible grin.

He pointed to the back of his head then. "Hey, wait a minute, why are your hands empty? I want your arms up around my neck, right here where they belong," he joked.

She complied, and he lifted her, carrying her into the kitchen. She squealed in surprise at first, but then added, "Okay, Muscles, don't put me down yet. I need the chili powder from the top shelf."

Jacob pushed her up onto his shoulder so she could reach it. "Show off!" she scolded, as her hand closed around the bottle. "I've got it. You can put me down now."

The container only had about a teaspoon left in it. It was time for a replacement anyway. This can was pretty old and she had to use way more to get any _heat_ into the pot. Shoot, she forgot to add that to her grocery list last week.

Bella turned away from the boiling tomatoes and ground beef. "Honey, do you think you could run to the store and get me a bottle of chili powder?"

"It'll cost you," he answered in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, yeah—promises, promises. Hurry back," she retorted.

He gave her a peck on the cheek as he went out the door whistling.

* * *

><p>She opened the new bottle of spice and without thinking sprinkled in the same amount she always used. Leaving the chili to simmer, she went about tidying up a bit and setting the table. Jacob was over at Sue's borrowing some extra chairs.<p>

By the time the chairs were all set up, it was time for the ravenous wolves to arrive.

Leah had invited her imprint, Curro to dine with the pack. It was good to see him, and Jacob patted him on the back.

Bella did the honors, ladling out the chili in each person's bowl. Emily sliced up the cornbread she had brought with her, allowing all the guests to help themselves to a piece.

Everyone dug in and suddenly, nearly all of them were waving their hands in front of their lips.

Curro stood up, and in his native tongue, eeked out, "Madre de Dios. Oye, muyer! Esta es muy caliente. Agua . . . Yo quiero alguna agua, por favor."

Bella ran for more ice water. All the wolves except for Quil and Paul were gulping the liquid down as fast as they could.

"What a bunch of pansies," Paul snorted. "What are we, a herd of sheep? Jeez, guys, wolf up, would ya?"

"Yeah," Quil responded. "This is great. I love it. The hotter, the better." He flexed both of his biceps and turned his head to plant a kiss on each one of his bulging muscles. "But maybe that's because I'm such a _hot _dog!"

At his last word, Paul kicked the chair out from under him, and he went sprawling onto the floor.

Jacob was laughing so hard, he was choking. Bella had to pound him on the back a couple of times.

Quil got up nonchalantly, and glared at Paul. "You just wait, Etcity. I'll get even when you least expect it." He rearranged his chair once more, and muttered, "You're just jealous." Then he went back to chowing down.

The rest of the dinner was uneventful. The water had to be replaced several times, and the cornbread was being passed around frequently, but the bowls got empty. No one asked for seconds except for Quil and Paul. And no one volunteered to take home the leftovers.

* * *

><p>After they left, Bella scraped some of it into the dog's dish and went out to the back yard with it. That dog loved chili, so at least she wouldn't waste too much of it.<p>

Hereboy dove into the bowl. His ears perked up. His tail stood at attention, and all at once a pitiful yelp escaped his throat. He ran off at top speed and bounded over the fence.

Weeks went by, and Hereboy did not return. Meanwhile, in Alaska, a small boy found him wandering around the school yard, and took him home. His mother had no dog food and so offered him some chili instead. Hereboy backed up in fright.

The poor dog lowered himself to the ground, placed his paws over his nose and whined.

The little boy scratched his head. "Gosh, mom, I guess he doesn't like chili, huh?"

* * *

><p>Another week went by, and Jake brought home a new dog from the pound. As he handed the animal to Bella, he looked straight into her eyes and said, "Now don't make a chili dog out of this one."<p>

"I like it," she said.

"Like what?" He cocked his head to one side, not understanding.

"His new name—Chilidog!"

Jacob groaned as he placed the collar on him. Then as an afterthought, he added, "You know it is kinda _chilly_ out here. Whaddya say? Would you like me to warm you up a bit? There's some nice cuddly blankets on our bed . . .

Bella winked, at him. "Okay, you naughty dog. You got some new tricks to show me?"

Grinning from ear to ear, Jacob came back with, "Yeah, and a few of your favorite _old_ ones."

Bella patted her hands on her thighs, "Here boy, here boy!" She yelled at Jacob. She turned and ran into the house.

Jacob followed hot on her heels. Hell, he didn't need obedience training when she beckoned. "Watch out, Bells. I'm comin' to getcha. Owww, oww, oww!" he howled.

Okay, fading to black now . . .


	21. Chapter 21

Drabble # 21: Yesterday's Gone

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

~ oOo ~

Mr. Dean Cranston rubbed his balding pate. Where was Quil? It was 8:10; he was late again. His grey eyes were turning darker by the minute, the storm clouds threatening to erupt inside them. Dean liked Quil; he really did. He was a good worker too, but this was the second occurrence this week. And so he stood beside the time clock with his arms crossed in front of his barrel chest.

Embry was already working on replacing brake pads on a truck that was left there last evening. He looked up from his task and saw the boss standing there with his face frozen in a scowl. Quil wouldn't be late if Embry had picked him up, but he had to drop his two cousins off at school first. Besides, Quil was a big boy; he could get himself to work.

Quil's motorcycle roared into the parking lot. He entered the huge garage. All the other employees were elbow deep in grease and auto parts. Uh-oh, late again, and crap, there was Dean staring at him as he arrived.

"Ateara," he bellowed. "Do you know what time it is?"

Quil shifted his weight nervously. "Uh—yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

Dean was in his face, the scent of his _Big Red_ chewing gum, blowing into Quil's sensitive nostrils. "Yes, sleeping beauty, it's 8:10. And what time does your shift start?"

Retreating a few inches, Quil tried to avoid the shower of spit as the boss continued his emotionally charged lecture. "8:00, sir," he answered sheepishly.

"That's right. Now, either you get here on time from now on, or adios, Atreara. You got that?"

"Yes, sir."

Dean, walked away, muttering, "See that you do it, then!"

Punching in quickly, he rushed to his friend's side.

Embry handed him a wrench. "Damn, what's the matter with you? Don't you want this job anymore? You're gonna get yourself canned."

"I couldn't help it," he explained. "I have a tough time getting up in the morning."

~ oOo ~

Earlier that same morning

The alarm went off—buzz, buzz, buzz! Quil's long arm reached over and pressed the snooze button. He had drifted into peaceful oblivion once more, when the buzzer alarmed again. He was not a morning person, so the snooze button got another punch. He was on route to dreamland for the third time.

On the next buzz, Quil grabbed the clock and pitched it across the room. It splintered into a thousand pieces. The clatter as it fell to the floor finally woke him enough so that he realized what he had done. Oh, hell, another alarm clock smashed to smithereens. Well at least this one lasted a couple of weeks. Leaving the broken pieces where they lay, he jumped in the shower and shaved. Then he pulled on some clothes, and snatched two granola bars from the kitchen. Some breakfast—he'd be starving by noon.

Hopping on his motorcycle, he thundered down the road to his work site—_The Rod Shop_. Of course he hit every red light on the planet. Crap, there was no way in hell to make it there by 8:00.

~ oOo ~

5:40 that same day

On the way back from work, he stopped at the store to buy another—cheap—alarm clock. He didn't want to be late again, so he set the alarm and hit the sack early.

Morning dawned, and Quil unbelievably slept through the alarm. When he finally awoke, it was dark outside. What a loooong night. So, confused, he lay his head back down on the pillow and feel asleep.

With light streaming through his bedroom window, he hopped out of bed and got ready for work.

He arrived at the garage five minutes early only to have Dean yell, "I warned you. You're fired!"

Quil's mouth dropped open. "What are you talking about? It's only 7:55."

"Yeah, today. But where were you yesterday?"


	22. Chapter 22

Drabble # 22: The Tale of the Missing Screw

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>"Sh**, where did that stupid screw go?" Jacob was muttering under his breath hoping that Bella couldn't hear him. He knew how she hated to hear him curse.<p>

She was sitting right behind him on an old orange crate. If she heard it, she was doing a good job of ignoring that fact. "Maybe it bounced into that heap of junk over there."

Without removing his head from under the hood, he countered with, "That is not junk, Bella. That is my reserve supply of parts."

Bella cocked an eyebrow. "Which you have used when?"

"That's not the point. I might need one of those parts someday."

"Jacob Black . . . some of those _parts_ are so dusty, and/or rusty, you couldn't even figure out what they are, let alone what they're used for."

"No comment." Jacob removed his head from the engine of his beloved Rabbit, and walking to the other side of the Taj, rummaged through the pile searching for the errant screw. "Dammit, it's gotta be here somewhere," he groaned in frustration.

Bella helped in the search, but it was no use. It was one of those mysterious disappearances, like when two socks go into the washer, but only one surfaces after the wash cycle finishes.

Finally giving up, Jacob looked in all the jars on his workbench trying to find a replacement screw. No dice—there was one of every size imaginable, except for the one he needed.

"Hey, Bells, do you think you could find my box of screws. It's in my closet, in a blue container." He gave her a pleading look with those big brown puppy dog eyes.

She pouted, testing his resolve. "Do I have to? Your closet is always such a tangled mess. I don't know how you can find anything in it."

He put his hands in front of his face, palms out. "I promise I'll clean it up next week, but right now, my hands are all greasy. Please . . . I need that screw."

Sighing, Bella went into the Black's home, straight back down the hall to Jacob's disorganized room. She stared at the jumbled conglomeration in despair. How was she going to find that container?

By sheer luck, she found it behind a box of old radio innards, covered by a dirty tee shirt.

She took it to the Taj, and Jacob combed through the container and took out the small plastic box. Ahh, success at last. He carefully lifted out the screw, and placed it on the radiator hose clamp.

* * *

><p>The next day, while Jacob was out patrolling, Bella drove to his house. Her truck was filled with several cardboard boxes and an old unused bookcase. The little project she had in mind would surely surprise her guy.<p>

She emptied the truck bed and piled the contents beside the front entrance and knocked. She heard the wheels on Billy's chair as he came and opened the door.

"Well, Bella, would you like to wait inside? Jacob's not here right now."

Bella started fidgeting nervously. "Hey, Billy, actually I thought I'd organize Jake's room while he's gone. What do you think? Would he mind?"

Billy's eyes crinkled in delight at the prospect. "I think that's a great idea. I've been trying to get that boy to clean up his room for months. C'mon in."

* * *

><p>She started by emptying his drawers onto his bed. In no time at all, she had all his socks and underwear in one drawer, shirts in another, wood carving tools and school folders in the top drawer, and shorts in the last one.<p>

All his slacks and jeans were hung neatly in a row, followed by his dress shirts. The remaining clothes were folded on the bookcase that she placed in the closet, along with games, books, shoes, etc. The rest found their way into boxes which she labeled with her label maker. The dresser also had sticky labels in the right hand corner of each drawer. There was no excuse now—Jacob could find things easily, or so it would seem. Bella left the house, satisfied that the room was neat and orderly.

When Jacob got to the house after patrolling, he ran to his room and was stopped in his tracks at the sight before him. What the hell happened? His room definitely did not look like this when he left this morning. Smiling to himself, he realized who the little worker elf was.

Quil and Embry were right behind him, looking over his shoulder.

Embry commented, "Damn, Jake, it looks like Martha Stewart paid you a visit."

Shaking with laughter, Quil said, "Look at all those little labels. That is just so cute!"

"Yeah," Embry agreed. "A place for everything; and everything in its place. Notice the peace and serenity that comes from having an uncluttered space—a space to meditate and drink in tranquility to your troubled soul."

Quil shoved him in the shoulder. "Hey, Embry, have you been readin' the Dalai Lama again?"

Jacob interrupted the conversation. "Okay, guys, show's over. Bella was trying to be helpful. Let me get some shoes on, and we'll go to the store to get a couple of frozen pizzas."

* * *

><p>That evening while she was cooking dinner, the telephone rang; it was Jacob.<p>

"Hey, Bells, uh . . . I noticed you cleaned up my room, thanks. But I have a question. Where did my bed sheets disappear to?"

"They're in your closet in the box labeled 'L' for linens."

"Oh well, the room looks really nice. Okay, gotta go. The sheets need changing, and I gotta wash some clothes. Bye, Bells"

Bella shrugged her shoulders and went back to her cooking. Ten minutes went by and the telephone rang again. "Bells . . . where did you put my tee shirt—you know—the one that says 'You can't spell awesome without ME in it'?"

She hated that shirt; what a stupid saying, but it was so Jake. "It's folded with your other graphic tees on the bookcase in your closet. I couldn't fit them in your dresser so they're all on the second shelf."

"Oh, okay, thanks." Jacob was scratching his head. How was he supposed to know that?

On the third call, he asked, "I'm still trying to do laundry but I can't find my dirty clothes. Where did you put them?"

"In the box in the closet labeled 'D' for dirty clothes."

"Bells . . ."

"Yeah?"

Poor Jacob was rubbing his forehead in exasperation. "You know I love you honey, but I can't find a damn thing in my room. I'm going nuts here."

Frowning, Bella replied, "I don't understand. I labeled everything for you."

"Yeah, but only you know what the labels mean."

Geesh, he was being so ungrateful. "All right," she grumbled, "I'll fix it tomorrow."

"Good—oh, wait. I won't be home after school tomorrow. I have to patrol again."

"Well, don't worry. Billy will let me in. I'll just wait for you at the house."

* * *

><p>Jacob got off early from patrolling. He entered his home and heard hammering in his room. He opened the door and nearly knocked Bella over. She was nailing a huge poster to the back of his door. On it were the instructions for finding all his belongings. The last nail accidentally fell to the floor. She leaned over to pick it up. Jacob laughed as out of her coat pocket fell a tiny silver screw.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Drabble # 23: Let 'Er Rip

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

><p>She didn't mean to, but the screams kept eruping out of her throat. All of La Push could hear her. Bella just wanted to feel normal again.<p>

Another scream ripped the air as Jacob pulled into their driveway. Thank god, he got here in time. He nearly pulled the door off the car in his haste to get inside the house. He ran in and found Bella still pregnant with twins, pacing up and down.

He closed the door and looked at her with a question in his eyes. "Bells, are you okay?"

"No," she blubbered, as she plopped down on the sofa.

Jacob sat down beside her, taking her hand. "Tell me what's wrong."

"No," she repeated. "The question is, what's right? And the answer is, nothing—absolutely nothing."

He began running his hands gently in soothing circles on her back. "Okay, honey, I'm listening. Tell me."

Bella covered her face in her hands, sobbing. Her crying subsided after a while, and little sniffles broke through her words every now and then. "I have shooting pains up my leg, I've gotta pee every hour, and every time I eat, I get heartburn." Her breath hitched as she continued. She looked up at Jacob her chocolate eyes now bloodshot from her tears.

"My feet are swollen and I can't see my legs to shave them. My nipples are sensitive, and I've got stretch marks from here to Forks. I'm cranky and I'm tired all the time, but I can't get comfortable when I'm in bed. I can't even make love to my husband, for Pete's sake. As if you could even get near me . . . Why would you even want to? I'm so huge." Her tears started again. "I can't take it anymore, Jake. I'm four days overdue. I just want to hold my babies and feel like a person again."

"I know. I can't wait till you have these babies either. Jeez, I feel guilty for being so happy, but you having my babies has made me the happiest man on the planet. I tell you what. Let's go out tonight. Paul's having a party; that should cheer you up—and there will be some other pregnant women there.

"I love you Bells, even on your crankiest day. C'mere." He put his arm around her shoulder drawing her closer. He tilted her face toward him and softly touched his lips to hers.

* * *

><p>Paul's place was just newly decorated, and to celebrate, the pack was there with their girls. The music was blaring, and there was food everywhere.<p>

The wolves were having a howling good time. Bella was a spectator for most of the evening, but the music was so infectious. She thought maybe if she let off some steam, these babies would get the hint and come out to greet her.

She and Jacob actually danced to a couple of numbers, but then Paul decided to shake her up. _Footloose_ began playing and Paul dragged Bella from her seat. She was bouncing and jumping around—quite a feat for a woman in her condition. Her friends were astounded. "Go, Bella," they chanted.

The music ended; Bella was out of breath. Paul snickered, "That oughta put you into labor."

Bella replied. "Thanks . . . I think."

He led her by the hand back to Jacob, who possessively pulled her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and kissed her neck. They sat like that together for a few minutes when Jacob suddenly felt something warm and wet trickle down the front of his jeans. Bella turned her head and peering at him, said, "I think my water just broke."

Paul saw the look on her face and heard the words she spoke. He raced to her side and commented. "Wait—don't go anywhere yet."

He ran outside and came back carrying a bucket. He handed it to Jacob. "Here, I just installed this carpeting. Please-Have mercy!"

Jacob helped Bella out of the house and into the car, leaving the bucket near Paul's front door. He came outside, and waving at them, yelled, "Okay, Bella—told ya so, now let 'er rip!"


	24. Chapter 24

Drabble # 24: The Flat Tire Incident

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>It was raining cats and dogs. Bella was on her way to see her honey, the irresistible Jacob Black. That's when it happened. Out of the blue, the truck started tilting slightly to one side, and making a clunking noise, like a pirate's wooden leg hitting the pavement. Well, since there were no pirates to be seen, the reason for the sound was obvious. The left back tire had gone flat. Ugh! Not now, not in this stupid rain!<p>

She maneuvered the wounded vehicle to the soft shoulder, parking it.

Gah! She climbed down out of the cab and sloshed through the standing water to confirm her worst suspicions. The wind was whipping up the strands of her rain soaked hair. She scowled and had to blink away the drips of liquid annoyance to survey the damage at the left back corner of the truck. The tire was shriveled and flat as a tortilla. Darn, darn, darn, and double darn!

Bella trudged back to the cab of the pickup and retrieved her cell so she could call her Jacob. The phone was dead. Of course it was. What stinkin' luck!

Well, she couldn't sit here forever. Returning to the back bumper, she struggled to get the spare out from under the truck. It would have been difficult enough to get it down in dry weather, but with the rain pouring on top of her, everything kept sliding around, making it virtually impossible. She groaned out loud. Her groan was answered with a growl.

Suddenly, six half naked boys converged on her from the nearby pine trees. "Need some help there, Bella?" Embry asked.

"You have to ask?" she sputtered through a sheet of water.

Paul slid under the rear bumper, and with Quil's help, pulled the tire out from under the truck.

Embry burst out laughing. The spare tire was as flat as the one still on the vehicle.

Leaning against the useless hunk of metal, Bella moaned in despair. "Now what?"

Quil bumped her shoulder. "Hey, don't worry, we'll get you over to Jake's."

Oh, no!" she protested, her eyes wide with shock. "I'm in no mood to go riding bareback on a giant wolf—in the pouring rain."

"And you won't have to," Paul offered, as he winked at the group. "Go get back in the truck."

While Bella climbed into the cab, Quil threw the spare tire onto the bed of the pickup.

All at once her truck began moving again toward that little red house. What the . . .?

Ten minutes later, Jacob stood, looking out his front window, roaring with laughter. It's not everyday that you see the wolf pack—carting a '53 Chevy truck on their shoulders complete with a chocolate-eyed sweetie sitting inside.


	25. Chapter 25

Drabble # 25: Freeing her Buns Off

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

**Note:** This story was told by an audience member on the Jay Leno show. I stole the idea, adapted it and put a new spin on it. Is it plagiarism if the story wasn't written?

* * *

><p>Whistling as he picked up the phone, Jacob said, "Hey, Bells. Ya wanna come out to play? I thought we might get the hell out of here and go ice skating up near the Canadian border. Whaddya say<em>?" C'mon, girl, say yes. The filthy tick had you on his<em>_ tight __leash for two whole weeks now. My turn!_

"You will? Great—I'll pick you up in a jif."

Bella actually owned a pair of ice skates. She loved to skate. While she lived in Phoenix, Renee would take her to the rink. She was too uncoordinated to do any flips or spirals, but gliding along the rink was fun, relaxing even.

It was nice seeing Jacob again, and getting away for awhile. His sunrise smile warmed her heart. God, she realized how much she missed her best friend these last two weeks.

It took a while to get up close to the border but with Jacob chatting all the while, the time seemed to fly by. They finally settled on a small frozen lake near Nooksack.

She should have guessed that Jacob would be a pro on the ice. He skated rings around her, doing triple lutz', toe loops, spins and back flips. Bella had all she could do to stay upright. She did more skating with her rear end than with her skates. Jacob didn't mind; he enjoyed lifting her off the ice and into his arms. He purposely did several lifts and spins with her hanging onto him for dear life.

The temperature out there was freezing, but with Jacob around, she was toasty warm. His heat penetrated clear through her parka. They got to stay for a good ninety minutes before they had to stop and eat.

* * *

><p>They pulled into a diner and looked over the menu. Jacob announced, "Now don't go spoiling my fun. Order whatever you want. I've got this."<p>

Bella looked up from the menu, right into Jacob's warm ebony eyes. "Jake . . . I don't think you can afford this. I'm perfectly willing to go Dutch treat. I don't want you spending your hard earned money on me. You've spent enough on gas as it is."

Leaning forward in his seat, he followed with, "Tell me something, Bella. Are you having fun? 'Cuz I'm having fun. Do you even remember what fun is?"

"Of course, I'm having fun. I always have fun whenever I'm with you. But that's not the point."

"Jeez, Bells, that _is_ the point. That's exactly the point. I saved up the money just for this trip; so we could have some fun together. Now, go ahead and order. Don't be ordering the cheapest item on there either." _Man, she can be stubborn sometimes._

Rolling her eyes, she countered, "Okay, Mr. Trump, I'll have a pastrami on rye with a side of coleslaw."

When the waitress came by, Jacob gave her the order, "That's two for me and one for the lady. I'll have a side of French fries too. And a Root beer for me . . . " He glanced at Bella, "What do want to drink, honey?"

"I'll have a Dr. Pepper—large please." Bella folded the menu and handed it to the waitress.

As the woman walked away, Jacob commented. "I thought you didn't do caffeinated drinks."

Bella scowled at him. "What are you, the soda Nazi?"

"That would be soda jerk," he snapped back at her.

"You said it, not me. Anyway, Edward's not here. He's constantly restricting my caffeine intake. I'm with _you_ today; I can drink all the Dr. Pepper I want, so there."

"I didn't say you couldn't drink it, I was just . . . oh, hell, forget it. " _It's so not worth it._

While they were eating, the waitress came back and refilled Bella's glass. She gave Jacob the stink eye, and snarled, "Don't start with me again, Jake."

Jacob threw up his hands. "I didn't say a word."

After the last crumb was eaten and the last sip of her pop was slurped, they got back in the car and drove around, then the couple headed home.

They hadn't gotten far, when nature was calling—loudly. "Jake, can we stop somewhere. I've gotta pee."

Snickering, Jacob offered, "See, I told you not to drink all that Dr. Pepper. Runs through you every time."

"Never mind the lecture—can we stop somewhere?"

Jacob looked over at the wiggling mass beside him. "Where are we gonna stop? There is nothing out here but snow and pine trees. Can you hold it a little while longer?"

"I'll try." Oh, gosh, she was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

They drove for another thirty minutes and you guessed it—more snow, more trees, and no gas stations or restaurants. Bella was about ready to burst. She had to go now, or Jacob's beloved Rabbit would be flooded.

Bella's face was overshadowed by a look of sheer panic. "Jake, please, you've got to pull over somewhere if you don't want me peeing on the seat."

Jacob shook his head. It's not like he didn't warn her. But did she listen? Noooo—of course not.

"Okay, hold on. I'll turn onto this forest road up ahead to get away from the main highway."

A few minutes later they were secluded among the pines, and Jacob pulled off to the side of the dirt road. He opened her door and shut it behind her. Then he popped the back door leaving it open so she could have some privacy. He ran around to the other side, sitting back down in the driver's seat.

The ground underneath Bella's feet was slick with ice, so after she crouched and pulled her pants down, she leaned against the rabbit's back bumper to steady herself. Brrr, it was so cold.

What a relief, the fluid gushed from her bladder onto the icy ground. She started to pull up her pants when, uh-oh—what the . . .? She couldn't get her pants drawn up. Yes, folks, her rear end was essentially adhered to the metal bumper. She tried to wiggle free, but it was frozen solid. What a humiliating, and I might add, painful situation. It could only happen to Bella Swan. My gosh, what was she going to do? She was literally stuck to the stupid car.

She crouched there thinking about how to get out of this mess. Several minutes passed and she was getting cold.

In the meantime, Jake was scratching his head wondering what was taking her so long. She was just taking a whiz, for Pete's sake. Maybe it was different for girls? Nah! Maybe she waited too long, and can't go now? He didn't want to embarrass her, but he was starting to worry. Should he walk back there and see what the problem was?

He didn't have to mull it over too long, 'cuz Bella let out a loud whine. "Jake, can you come here a minute?"

He bolted out the door, racing to her rescue. His eyes bugged out of his head when he saw her predicament. She had her coat pulled down as far as it would go to cover herself.

Bella sighed loudly and lowered her eyes; she couldn't be more mortified. "You've gotta help me Jake. It's just what it looks like. My butt and your Rabbit's bumper are one."

Jacob nodded and then burst out laughing.

She looked up at his towering figure, "Jacob Black, this is sooo not funny!"

He tried to keep a straight face but it was impossible. "I know," he choked out as his laughter exploded again.

Despite her embarrassment, she couldn't help joining him. This whole situation was just plain ridiculous. When their laughter finally subsided, Jacob got an idea on how to free her buns.

"Okay, Bells. Here's the plan. We need some hot liquid to separate you from the bumper, right? And coincidentally, I just happen to run at 109 degrees. So look the other way, and I'll do the same. Jeez, I hope my aim is good."

She sighed again, and stared at the ground as Jacob unzipped his pants and aimed a stream of urine in the general direction of her rear end. She felt her skin peeling away from the car and quickly pulled up her pants. Jacob turned away from her, zipping up his jeans.

"Jacob," she said softly, "Could you help me up; my legs are numb."

"Sure, sure," he answered. As he pulled Bella to her feet, he winked at her. Then he whispered, "This will remain our little secret, but I want you to remember that on this day, Jacob Black—aka, _The Whiz Kid_—literally saved your butt."


	26. Chapter 26

The Worm Turns

**By Lady of Spain**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

The image in the mirror disgusted him, but not because he was hideous to look at. On the contrary, Seth Clearwater was a magnificent specimen. At nineteen years of age, he could have competed for the title of sexiest man alive. At least, it seemed to always start out that way, and then the girls would lose interest, or someone else would snatch them away. The problem was: he was a lamb in wolf's clothing. Well, no more—no more Mr. Nice Guy! He was through—he was finished—he was throwing in the towel. Today was the last straw.

He had finally gotten to first base with Ruth, when along came that damn Lahote and fished her right out of Seth's private little pond. Paul could get any girl he wanted, why did he have to take Ruth away from him just when things were starting to get _friendly_ in a good sort of way.

The girl before that, Paul had snuck right out from underneath his nose too.

What was the deal? It seemed like the girls all gravitated toward the bad boys. Seth decided then and there, that he would join that exclusive club. If they wanted a bad boy, well then, that's what they'd get. After all, if phasing came that easy to him, then going through this phase would be a piece of cake.

He glared at his reflection, throwing a towel against the smooth surface. "What are you lookin' at, huh?" he snarled.

* * *

><p>The very next day, he persuaded Leah, to pierce one of his ears. He went to the store and bought himself a spiked dog collar, and a belt with hanging chains adorning it. Jacob wasn't really using his Harley much anymore, so Seth borrowed it indefinitely, along with his boots, leather jacket, and helmet. He didn't shave that day, but he did put enough hair gel on to stab a porcupine. The finishing touch was a pair of Bausch and Lomb sun glasses. Satisfied that he looked real smooth, he strutted out the door primed for success.<p>

He was sharp lookin', a quick thinker, and had a good paying job for the summer. He'd show those girls—and the girlknapper too.

That night and the next several nights, the opposite sex did seem to cluster around him. It seemed funny, but the ruder he acted toward them, the more they seemed to hang all over him. He could do anything he wanted with this bevy of beauties, but that was the kicker. He found that he didn't want to. There was nothing that was off limits with these girls except for one of the females in particular. He had become a little more than partial to Megan, and truth be told, she also had her eye on him.

They were all out at the beach, one starry night when he took Megan by the hand separating her from the other females. She was the only one of the harem that he hadn't manhandled or kissed. So, when they were far enough away, he started in on his _line._ He pulled her closer, and lifting her chin up toward him, said, "Hey, baby girl, how 'bout a little sugar for your daddy?"

Instead of cooperating, she laughed in his face. That was sooo not what he was expecting. Maybe he wasn't being rough enough? He squeezed her a little tighter. "Hey, c'mon baby, don't leave me hanging here. My tongue is in need of a massage. Now open up, those sweet lips of yours. Daddy's got a present for you."

"Yeah, well I've got one for you too." She began to take a swing at him, when he caught her wrist.

His snapped his head back, fish-mouthed. "What the hell—were you gonna slap me?"

She swung her dark hair back over her shoulder in a defiant manner. "I was just trying to wake you up."

"What are you talkin' about, doll?"

Her ebony eyes glistened in the moonlight, and he was enraptured by them as she spoke. "What is all this? Why are you acting this way? It was fun for awhile, but actually I liked you before you became a motorcycle maniac. You've become this rip off of Paul Lahote and not a very good copy either. It's just not you. So, when Seth Clearwater comes back, let me know, 'cause I'd really like to be his girl."

That being said, she wiggled out of his arms, and walked off. He returned to the gaggle of females and shooed them all away. He was in a dark mood.

* * *

><p>He returned Jacob's motorcycle and other paraphernalia the following day. His collar and belt were stashed away for Halloween, and he washed his hair and shaved.<p>

Arriving at Megan's doorstep, he handed her a bouquet of flowers. She took them in one hand, and with the other, curled it around his neck. Her mouth was on his in a New York minute. When she entangled herself from the surprised boy, she announced, "Well, it's about time I got to meet you, Seth. Won't you come in?"

"Don't mind if I do," he replied. And he didn't. Not. At. All.


	27. Chapter 27

Drabble # 27: Bullyragging

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

><p>Paul and Quil were cutting through her backyard on their way to wherever, whispering between themselves. She stopped raking up the leaves she was working on, curious. "Where are you guys going?"<p>

Paul stuck out his tongue. "Uncle Omni's, if it's any of your beeswax."

Leah glared at them with her hands on her hips. "You know you're not allowed to go there."

Paul was quick on the draw. "Who's gonna squeal—you?"

"Maybe."

"Just because you're older than us, doesn't mean you have to be such a tattle tale. Why do you have to act so responsible all the time," Quil groused, kicking up some of the leaves she had collected into a pile.

"Stop that!' She tried to shoo Quil away with the rake. "You two are gonna be in so much trouble," she snapped back at them.

"You tell on us, and we'll come back and pound you." Paul always did have a hot temper.

Leaning on the rake, she fired back, "Oh, yeah, I could take you two with one arm tied behind me."

"Phtt!" Paul scoffed at her. "Who're you kiddin'? You'd be runnin home to momma, little girl."

"I'm not a little girl; I'm sixteen."

"Big whoop," Paul snarked.

Her face contorted into an ugly sneer. "That's two years older than you two babies."

He stepped forward, ready to give her a good shove, when Quil grabbed him by the shoulder. "Hey, man, let it go. She's just a dumb girl. Anyway, are we going to Omni's or not?"

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

><p>She knew what they were up to. They were going to have their idea of fun, teasing Omni's bull, Diablo. They wouldn't be so brave if he could see them. They didn't call him Diablo for nothing, in fact he was nicknamed <em>The Terminator<em>. Did that stop those two from taunting him—nooooo—of course not.

He was the biggest and the meanest bull on the planet. He was so mean that Omni had to put blinders on him so he wouldn't gore everything that crossed his path. The blinders consisted of a two by four stretched across his eyes, held by a couple of rope loops slipped over his horns.

* * *

><p>The leaves were all neatly bundled up, ready to empty into the compost bin. Then she decided to go over to Omni's ranch and watch the two idiots get into hot water.<p>

Leah made the trek, and sure enough, there was Quil and his buddy, Paul sitting on the rail fence, throwing twigs and rocks at the poor beast. They were yukking it up as the bull got more and more agitated. Diablo by now was stomping and pawing at the ground. The two jerks were laughing uproariously, while they continued lobbing their endless ammunition at the animal.

All at once, _The Terminator_ let out a loud bellow, and rearing his head back, the board got chucked off his horns, catapulting into the air, and landing on the ground. With his head lowered, he made a blowing snort, and charged at the now terrified duo.

Leah was rounding the barn taking in the scene. The furious bull tore down the fence, and chased the hapless idiots across the field. Unable to outrun him for long, they hurriedly climbed a massive oak, as Diablo reached the tree, butting it with his horns.

Leah backed away, not wanting to call attention to herself, and ran home. Served them right for doing such a stupid stunt. Later on that evening, the parents of both boys phoned to see if anyone could locate the boys. She thought about informing the worried adults, but she didn't want to be branded a tattle tale, now would she?

At nine P.M., she decided that the two rascals had suffered enough, and told her mom where they were. Sue made a quick phone call notifying the rancher that his bull was on the loose, and had two boys stranded in a tree.

Omni apparently found them still perched in the oak with Diablo on sentry duty underneath. It took three men besides Omni to lead the bull to another corral, and replace the blinders.

Sitting in a stuffed chair, Leah smiled as she polished her nails. _Who's a dumb girl?_ There's no way she'd be stupid enough to tease The Terminator. No sir—and that ain't no bull.

The End


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